Asseverated Oblivion

My paternal instincts !

2009-12-15T00:48:00.003+05:30

I am not that comfortable around little children.I am quite afraid that i would drop them if i did carry them .I have never been around growing kids,being the youngest of the flock most of the time and when the stork finally dropped several little ones in the eager laps of my uncles,aunties cousins and friends i was miles away .

So this trip to Kannur was special in that way.I love going to my family home,its got less furniture,wide open spaces and lots of memories that i love to soak up on.This time however i had to comprehend with the reality of my home becoming a play school.
It all happened when my grandfather died.The house grew empty and we needed someone to take care of our treasured house.We have had numerous tenants who weren't nice and we finally wound up with a person who wanted to make it a playschool.So the fresh white walls got their splashes of colours and toys lined the house which echoed with the yells of eager excited children.

I used to visit the playschool mainly to check my email and play a few games on Facebook.Soon the kids started involving me in their games and before i knew it there were kids all around me.Some would find it amusing to run to me and taunt me to chase them,others realised that i could push the swing fast enough for them,some just wanted to show off their pretty chains and toys and some even wanted a punching bag.Its not really fun when you have toddlers who don't really your waist, attempt to punch you.There is nothing but your delicates that are at arms length from them and having taken a head butt that would have made Zidane proud and a kick to the crotch , i started adopting evasive action every time i was around them.

Among all these 30 odd kids there was another little fellow too,his name was Diam Kanz and affectionately he was called kachu.Now this was a strange kid,he didn't play too much,hated the play school but loved to stand close to any guy who was willing to let him.Any teacher approaches and he bawls his heart out sending pearl shaped teardrops all about the floor.So he would stand by me looking over my shoulder as i surfed the net and i in turn would teach him all the animals i raised in Farmville and Fishville (No i didnt teach him Mafia wars).

Things were great,I had a little kid who would hop on my lap when i get to the house and refuse to leave my side at any time.Then came the time when he had to be fed and the minute the teachers approached him the bawling started.Things began to take a nose dive when suddenly he looks up at me with his eyes laden with tears and whispers "Uncle Can you feed me ?"

I have never feed anybody,of course i have sometimes hand fed a morsel or two..but that was to a grown up and usually it was on a spoon that i shoved down the other person's mouth or it was a romantic date.But who can refuse a teary eyed kid.So i got his lunch box,his little sippy cup and sat on one the little benches the kids had and i fed him.He would munch happily on a mouthful and then play a while while i coax him to take in another morsel and then play a while ; you get the picture.I took half an hour to feed him two chappathies.

My mom loved this sight.I could see her dial everybody on the phone to give the good news.And for good reason it was the first time i have done something like that for a 3 year old and she was excited.If she had her camera in hand by now half the people I know would have pictures of me feeding the kid.She kept saying i should have 4 kids and i should have to do all this but i am pretty sure my better half wouldn't really appreciate that :).Eventually i fed the kid his lunch and his evening snacks too.

Days after that there was a new joinee and while the parents talked finances and logistics,the lil baby girl was shoved into my arms.Having not held a kid ever i was guided by the staff and my mom.The lil girl did not show any discomfort and i ended up with a sprained shoulder after holding her in the wrong angle but it was worth it again.I had a little kid sit on my should like a little angel and stare at me with her huge eyes while gripping my shoulder as hard as she could.

So I guess it really is not that scary a deal having a kid around.Of course i still don't touch babies but i have learned to appreciate them a little more and get closer with them than i used to.I think we all have our biological clocks ticking in some weird way or the other.I don't dig the "awwwwwww so cute" sentiment but when a kid looks up to you,its something else.There's the dad in me thats reaching out to that kid and that's an instinctive urge that i am learning to fight lesser and lesser as the days go by.

And the lump got larger

2009-10-30T01:13:00.003+05:30

Its difficult when past and present collide.There I was at the rusted dirty gate,the only thing separating me from what i am and what i was.Everything i needed was on the other side but reaching there would be like opening a hornets nest of memories,each sting evoking pangs of nostalgia bitter sweet.I hesitated at the gate and then willed myself to get it over with as fast as possible.

But like everything else in SCT College,even the simple letter of recommendation i needed was to take time.As always nothing was where it was supposed to be,the lecturers lost in a sea of students that thronged the halls and paths that made the College.So i ventured on initially avoiding spots that contained the many memories but i found myself pausing every now and then, relishing all the memories as they came like the fresh monsoon rain,first in patters and then in torrents.The last classroom i sat in,the canteen i used to sit in,the workshop drawing hall that i spent hours in,chatting with friends or studying for exams,the dirty unused water cooler,the dirty shabby classrooms and the fading posters and motto's stuck on the walls.
There were places i sat with her,places i sat with them,places i sat alone,places i sat in the midst of others still feeling alone.The college was a minefield of old memories.

Quite aptly the day i chose to enter the college was the day the attendances for the students got published.Watching the students beg and plead for increases in attendance,the calculations of duty leaves and cricket leaves i remembered Kurian and Anand the two blokes who never sat for one hour but got away with more attendance than even the smart girls of our class.Somethings it seems would never change with the years.

I met a few lecturers and talked my heart out with them.Of course they were really interested in the class statistics,who's where,who's with whom,who's what and what not.It was nice to run into them and i was glad that they remembered me.I discovered a new thing as well,nobody would call my batch the 2006 CS batch,they were referring to us as Anand's Batch.The dancing singing class representative seems to have become the benchmark of the class that soon i was introducing myself as a member of Anand's batch.Well at least its one way to be remembered !

I couldn't get past the mirage of images that circled my head.The passages to the computer lab where we stood and prayed before the scary lab exams,the claustrophobic classrooms and the parking lot where we stood and shared many a joke.

A teacher remarked that it was hard to believe 3 years passed and i smiled at her.We are all growing old and far apart.There are classmates i keep in constant touch with,some of them have gone on to become an indelible part of my lifeline,the others have faded into photographs and faint memories.But while i stood there each and every one of them returned,all 65 of them,laughing and smiling everywhere i looked.

There was a lump growing in my throat and i felt like my Adam's apple would explode.As i mumbled my thanks to the teacher who vetted my letter of recommendation, i knew the heaviness in my heart would linger on for at least a day.And then i broke into a run,away from the maddening smug memories and away from it all.

Diet Tales

2009-10-23T20:49:00.002+05:30

Was too hungry to blog further about the diet.So i am keeping it short
Starting Day : 87.5 Kg
Ending Day : 82.5 Kg
Diet constraints were Water,Veggies,Fruits and Protein Rich Supplements.

Helpful ? Well my stomach was clean,thats for sure !
Recommend to others ? Sure why not,its a good thing to try out !
Will i do it again ? Hell Yeah :) I like quickie diets ;)

DIET OR DIE : EPISODE 1 : THE FRUITFUL BENEFITS

2009-10-02T11:06:00.005+05:30

PARA ONE OF THE FAMED GM DIET : Book of Crash Course Diets

Day One : All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a lope. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.

They say that the first step is the toughest but for me it was sweetest and if you know me that's one thing i hate ! But that's getting ahead of my tale.Lets start from the beginning.

My parents brought me fruits and they didn't ration that,not to the least bit.I got Apples oranges watermelon and pineapple.Of these the only one i really like is watermelon.So i had them for breakfast,then for lunch and as snacks in the evening and dinner.My parents had their food on the large dining table while i hid in the bedroom snacking on the fruits in a desperate attempt to prevent myself from witnessing the scrumptious grub they were eating.

Some wise man said when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish come true.Well same goes for the converse.I didn't want to be reminded about food and instead everything i watched did just that.On Discovery Channel that Anthony Bourdain dude was talking about all the delectable food items in the world.On Two and a half men all the lead characters sit around a dining table eating.In the movies everybody is being served food.At the end of the day I was famished,hungry empty and with a headache.
I went to sleep thinking about Waffles and the English breakfast @ Cafe Terra (a nice lil joint in Bangalore).

In the end I realised that the first day of diet has helped me develop a finer appreciation for all the food items that I normally detest.But I still hate fruits.

I miss my food !! I really do !! Lets hope Veggie day is better for me !

DIET OR DIE !

2009-10-01T19:33:00.004+05:30

I could blame it on my bangalore lifestyle , the fast IT world that caused my diet to go haywire.I could also it on the lack of healthier alternatives during my solo days in Bangalore.But who would i be kidding.87 kilos is really too much to for a 5 6' frame.The weighing machines groan at my weight and the bed creaks when i sit on it.If i grew a beard i could give santa a run for his money.

So i decided to give a attempt a Crash Course Diet.Its colloquially called the GM Diet although it bears no affiliation to the company of that name.Some prefer to call it the cabbage soup diet.The guaranteed weight loss is in the range of 4 to 10 kilos.I know this is unhealthy and unwise to follow and i also know that its gonna be a long long week but i plan to stick with it.Theres nothing like a good start and it would help the exercise regimen i plan to follow if i could make a real headstart.

In the event that you find this post deleted do understand that i fell for the temptation of a fleshy juicy beef sandwich or a tasty feast of maggi noodles or even a bowl of rice.
The amount of saliva dripping out of my mouth confirms that these sort of statements are really detrimental to my mental health.

So i plan to blog my struggle against the flab in incremental updates on my blog.I would have tweeted but then keeping mind off food requires a lot of effort and blogging seems the sane choice.Something to keep me from tearing open the snack packets in kitchen like a rabid dog.

The first stage of my reformation is the Crash Diet.It will be listed out in blog entries for the 7 days i intend to follow it.
Do check back everyday as i document my trials and tribulations.Oh and do wish me luck.With the deprived diet schedule i am following i need lots of it.

Random thoughts on a 2 km stretch

2009-09-25T17:37:00.003+05:30

Going through Hosur road today morning evoked painful feelings.The first was a numbness in the back of neck that confirmed that sleep was achieved at a very heavy price and that for once instead of being a pain in the neck, i had one !

The next feeling was an awkward realisation that i had passed the Bomanahalli Bosch office.

I was always impressed by the blue monolith that towered over all that was around it and previously promptly found consciousness the bus reached the stretch on which it was the most prominent.

This time i was past that and for the first time a sharp pang passed through me as i watched the silk board flyover approach.My past and present was colliding in a split second that drew my attention to what was and what is.If i had not quit this would have been an exciting morning as i surveyed the prospect of a three day weekend.I would have probably gone home instead of arriving from it.The bitter taste lingering in my mouth was more than just the fact that i hadnt brushed my teeth.It was a more ominous taste.Introspection is dawning

From the day i have left life has gone from the tumultous rollercoaster ride it was to an unimpressive lazy river ride in those 3rd rate theme parks that have a lot of place and water to spare.You don't move forward too much and even if there are occasions when friends and family prod you to move further you find yourself staring most of the days at the foot of the bed wondering whether getting out of the bed would be any more productive than staying in it.

Life takes a stand still and you have difficult emotions rising to your chest that you do not wish to answer or acknowledge.

Is everything fine ? Was everything for the best ? Such questions rose in my head as we went up the flyover and my stomach churned as we went off the flyover.I do not have the answers yet.So far on the pro VS cons list has been even with the balance tilting ever so lightly each day.

In the end i realized that anything and everything can be made worthwhile .So as the scavenger auto drivers jousted each other for my bag i decided that i would make this weekend as fruitful as possible and end back home.

Note to self :

Must correct this later

Must spell check this later

Must make this a better post.

The warning

2009-06-25T09:46:00.000+05:30

Your bright eyes follow my every move
And I know you adore me
Every little thing I do
I see the wonder in them.

I know I am your hero,my dear
Though I would look ridiculous in tights
Your problem solver,your anchor of hope
The one who's brave enough to turn off the lights

But my sweetheart , I am not all that perfect
Don’t model your life after mine..
Coz I am filled with flaws I cant reject
So be whoever you want,just dont be me

Your daddy's the strongest that’s for sure
But I secretly know I cant hold my own in a fight
Your daddy's the bravest ;) yeah right
Even I get the jitters sometimes at night.

So my sweetheart , I am not all that great
I'm not brave enough to challenge fate
So realise it fast,before its too late
Do what your heart chooses,not mine.

I don’t know all the answers,
I wont be around all the time.
Just been around longer,my angel
That’s why I get around all the time…

Dear one,realise I am not smart
I sometimes bluff ;that’s not a good art
So make mistakes,learn life on your own
Don’t do things just coz I did them

Someday you will grow, and I will seem silly
You will know more,and I much less
Know that its part of life,and know this too
That I warned you this would happen
Remember too,to warn your lil ones
That this will happen to them as well
You too..could pen a lil poem or
Show mine and warn them as well!

Let me walk the ground again

2009-06-25T09:45:00.000+05:30

Let me walk the ground again
You have lifted me up so high
That I'm one with all birds in the sky
I see them all by me ,eye to eye.

Let me walk the ground again
The ground's so far below me
The world is a multicolored porridge
Floating in the deep blue sea

Let me walk the ground again
My spirit soars high with me
As does the breeze,
I move like the wind, wherever I please.

Let me walk the ground again,
The pleasure is enthralling
The view equally astounding
And the comfort out of the world

But do let me walk the ground again.
The pleasure is great but I am afraid of the fall
I like the view but I feel too small
I enjoy the comfort but want none of it,at all
Truth be told,I rather be
With my feet in the ground
The wind in my face
And a song in my heart
I prefer abject reality in stark contrast
To all unimaginable pleasures that scarcely do last.

The Husband speaks.

2009-05-20T11:37:00.003+05:30

Tried to put myself in the shoes of a man who's wife has been away for days.the poem is the end result.Its half baked and i may modify it but its been like this only unchanged for 3 years so for now it goes on like this

Air thick,dusty and musty
the bread on the table crusty
the silence makes me feel wierd
Is this the loneliness i feared?

Goddamit the night is so long
the clock ticks loud and strong
but something surely aint right
Grrr i mutter and turn on the light

i get up and stumble on my shoe
look at the clock..its half past two
head straight to the wash basin
and grimace at the image i'm facing

When did i have my last shave ?
when did i last comb my hair?
my poor reflection,my unwilling slave
pityfully returns my irate stare

untended rooms and dirty dishes
some help one wishes
but untended all the chores remain
from such tedious efforts i refrain

So i head back to my makeshift bed
and lie with my hand on my head
Sleep i tell myself...go to sleep
picture the fence..count all the sheep

But the sleep evaded me throughout the night
the day came with its wonderful light
my tired face must have been some sight
cause u melted in my arms with a hug so tight

And there in your embrace i find my bliss
in ur eyes and within ur moist kiss
arm in arm we get in bed and yawn
and fall asleep right at the break of dawn

We'll wake up and get back to life
i'll be the messy husband and u my lovely wife
U do the dishes and i will help you too
Its just too boring to do without you

You are back where u belong
and i am too sure to be wrong
COZ without you my life would be in tatters
You are here and thats all that matters

(C) Akshay Sudhir

The Exile

2009-05-20T11:21:00.000+05:30

This is a bitter poem,a self-defeating one where the protagonist finds himself on the verge of a self-imposed exileThis poem starts with a reference to Keat's tombstone.I've built this poem in an effort to highlight this.There are some vague references to me but that is for another post altogether.Of course ! Quite unlike the poem I don’t think people are sharpening their pitchforks
In happiness at me going away and I hope my name is not writ in water but writ on some pebbles treasured dearly :)

My identity is writ in water
An impediment to my lasting fame
For all the years hereafter
You wont remember my name

Coz when I melt into the shadows of obscurity
and I vanish from the light of day
You will find it easy to feign acquaintance
And hastily walk away

For too long my presence wasted
My absence looked for in glee
You wished I vanished forever
From the horizons you wanted to see

So I will be forgotten before the day is gone
I will be erased before the new dawn
Your will be done,just as you insist
I will forever cease to exist

And as the death knell sounds
Heralding that I've finally been swept away
The world will wake to a beautiful morning
With me far far way !

(C) Akshay Sudhir

What life boils down to !

2009-05-02T16:59:00.002+05:30

Its eerie,how our mind is able to correlate seemingly unrelated incidents by finding underlying patterns that inexplicably bind them together.As i write this,i am nursing my inflamed jaw with a crude hanky-ice-pack.4 cubes of ice,one really wet handkerchief,one aching jaw and a lot of free time to think are the essential ingredients to this post.
Yesterday morn i woke up as i have done for the last couple of weeks, grouchy and tired only to find a new nagging additional pain, a small boil hidden in the thin stubble that is my 1 week beard.
It was small,it didn't hurt much and i could have very well left it alone but no. My pesky fingers found it hard to resist the compulsion to squeeze the little boil and drain its vile contents.
So without further gross details,that's exactly what i did.

Over the course of the day,it started to ache more and more with ever increasing intensity,that i decided to attempt the same process several times.By the time it was nightfall i could feel one side of the face sag,my mouth refusing to open wide enough to admit the morsels of tasty food i wanted to devour and a numbing pain thats spread throughout one side of my face.
Today morning after yet another fight for slumber,i awoke to see what clearly Rocky Balboa's face might have looked after the first punch and the pain is unbearable to say the very least.

Now i could have very well let it go on the first notice of it but i didnt.I chose to fight it,taunt it,correct it till the small boil on my face has started to look like an entire face on its own.
So now i come to the interesting part on how this applies to life and its various nuances.

There are problems in life,that arent meant to be solved.There are no good fixes for them,there are no good amicable solutions.An attempt to solve the problem only aggravates the situation.
Such problems do not warrant understanding and most of the time they are born out of the silliest reasons.The only medicine for them is time.

Time may prove that all things vile may eventually accumlate into a single contigous mass that
can be easily cast away or that the problems like a dying fire finding no fuel to survive on, just die and wither away much like the inevitable fate of my boil.The more i try to fix it with my crude means the greater the chance that i might find myself under the scapel of a really unfortunate doctor.

Of course, you could have asked me why i didn't apply some cream in the first place.Well the answer is, I just didn't think it would amount to so much trouble but be sure the next time this happens I probably be right in front of the mirror applying that much needed cream.

So for now i've left the wound to heal on its own sweet will (And i am taking some antibiotics ;) )
Lets hope my face is in a presentable shape when monday comes.

Dog Gone !

2009-03-17T17:50:00.004+05:30

Deeps and Nishmi bought a mutt a year back.The purchase of the pup was marked by several practical objections that i put across but there were shot down instantaneously.So we made the long journey to this place by the lake where they have dogs and cats and birds...well you get the picture.Out came in the arms of one of the boys there a lil ball of brown fur,eyes shut tight ,that snuggled lovingly in their arms.The lil pup initially would not even bark or whine and going by all the text book knowledge i had about dogs, i quite expected it to.
And it did and how ! The days that followed showed the metamorphosis of that quite innocent baby into the loudest voice in our block,each bark ringing true and clear into my little cube,i call my room.And boy did those girls struggle.The walls are in a state of perpetual erosion,cement being a frequent component in his everyday diet.The floors smelt of Lysol all the time as the dog still his bathroom is their living room.And my hand well,A scratching tool for his stomach or the chewie when he is bored.
I thought,maybe this is how my parents felt growing me up.What was a pretty little baby turned out into something of the same noisy brat this dog has turned out to be.Every day he grows more and more out of control,demanding more attention and rebuking us in all the dog slang's he's picked up over the last months.
But there is something about having an excited yip and a prance when the door opens.There is a tug at the heart when each tiny gesture to him would bring a booty shake from him (He does not have a tail,so he shakes his butt like hell).And best of all, as i found out recently,talking him for a walk when you don't have an apparent destination or need to be on the road,is the best way to relax.Being dragged by him to see the sights and sounds of the city has been one of the best things that has happened to me in weeks.
Its strange,the amount a dog gives you in return for the two square meals you give it in a day.
The love it pours out unconditionally on your feet,while it sniffs the air around you in expectant pleasure.Its the most pure form of love (and hero worship) you can get and i am eternally grateful to him :)

The edge

2009-02-22T01:33:00.004+05:30

My mind is an asylum for tortured thoughts and devious designs.So this poem must be the love child of the above mentioned conniving hoodlums lurking in the dark and disturbing recesses of my mind.On the face of it..or rather phrase of it,this is a simple poem of a man at the edge of a cliff willing his beloved (who btw does not echo the same feelings) to commit the crime of passion that she wishes.Look deeper, dear readers for the metaphors if you please :)

At the edge of the cliff,my back against the sea
Night silent but turbulence in you and me
With the tide low and stars meek in the sky
the arena is set as time creeps by

Your eyes harsh and accusing,the wind in your tresses
A harsh wind that mocks with each of its caresses
Tension builds up with each passing gust
As we draw to the end as we inevitably must.

Gravity comes calling,as my feet grit dust
that gently hovers down in the sweeping breeze
Moving in which ever way they please
but surely down to where the waves kisses the beach

So we've come this far,lets get it over with
lets whats to be done,be over and dealt with
No more remonstrations,no more reproaches
Hark ! i hear death's stealthy approaches

But no i will not now heed its call
Not because its my wish to stall
the inevitable,the irrevocable fate
No,I wish to be delivered by your hate

The gust that blows,the gravity that does beckon
shall not be stained by my demise
For all your hate that's manifest i reckon
its your hands that must pay that price

My end is nigh,come hither and be
the executioner you were meant to be
The time is up and i wish to be gone
Come finish the deed before its morn'

You shall have your vengeance,for which you lust
but you should send me down with all the dust
I shall be gone,but know this you must,
that will happen only upon your inevitable thrust.

Akshay Sudhir

Happy New Year !

2009-01-02T11:32:00.000+05:30

I received quite a few forwarded new year greetings so i decided to do something special for the people i know.It isn't much but I sent the below lines around as my New Year Wishes.So for all the readers of my blog,here goes.

For the year gone I am grateful
For all things happy and fateful.
For wisdom I hope I gained
And for friends that have remained

For the roof above my head
For my job that I still keep
For that money in my purse
And the peace when I sleep

For the love I got
For all the fun I had
For the insults I conveniently forgot
For all compliments (though not a lot!)

So as the year draws to a close
All that’s left I suppose
Is to wish all friends of mine
HAVE A GREAT 2009 !

My Rave Party

2009-01-01T22:21:00.000+05:30

The year 2008 has gone by but most of us aren't really rejoicing. People are bracing themselves for 2009 ,a year that would test the will and strength of people,families and nations. In my rather dim pessimistic view 2008 was more like a teenager struck by the onset of puberty ending up awkward ungainly and gawky. There were those sudden spurts of growth, the temper tantrums, the quiet realizations, hostility and un-diluted joy that makes the most endearing kid into the most trying teen .So while the year and the world grew up around us , I would like to point out some of the things that I heard,seen,repeated,hated and raved about in 2008 (Of course from a localized polar Indian point of view)

1) The Bull Run and The IPO : initial public offering (Initially people optimistic)

Yes the year 2008 initially outlined the most impressive growth in the Stock Exchanges. It was more of a Bull run than a stampede and everybody (your truly included) became overnight stock market pundits and punters. I did what most stock brokers would called rookie mistakes. I purchased stocks at random," averaged" out at every market low and purchased even more. I knew more stock names than my own family members and lunch with colleagues was more or less on the same lines as the televised debates on NDTV Profit. I siphoned my salary to the stock market and watched with glee at every increase in my UNREALIZED profits. I not only counted my chicks before they hatched but also named them and started nurseries for them. Through all the stock market knowledge I amassed, I learned 2008's most popular 3 letter acronym, IPO .It sounds almost holy,intial public offering and it was crazy. Big companies putting their IPO ads on everything from toilet paper to airdropped fliers. Reliance power, a company primarily on paper managed to get oversubscribed many times over. Friends borrowed cash, People pledged gold in the fevered hope of making a killing in the market and what a killing it was. From the day the stock released into the market the value tumbled, the market stumbled and so many thousands left with a fraction of their initial investment.The IPO fad was as short-lived as Britney Spear's marriages and left so many poorer and hopefully wiser. The Bull Stampede also suffered from the same crippling reality. From dizzying heights of 22 k the sensex nose dived wiping out trillions from hapless traders. To rookie traders like me it was nothing short of rape and from a stomping bull I've turned into a abused cow chewing the cud of reality (I agree,an unbelievable metaphor).

2) Tea Twenty and Money a-Plenty . The IPL,T20 Saga.

Somewhere some "scientist" conducted several studies and concluded that instead of an hour long romp in the bed, the most effective love making session should be one that lasts in the range of 8 to 13 minutes. At this I am sure several men would have puffed their chests in pride (at being within the CUT-OFF )and pointed this article out to their dissatisfied counterparts This study seems to have touched cricket as well. Convinced that the general public sentiment favours quickies of 20 overs in place of the classic fore-play ridden convenient one-dayers and test matches ,Crickets supreme authority fathered the T20 or 20-20 as some prefer to call it.20 overs of lusty hits and fist pumping action,coupled with bikini clad women with impressive pom-poms.It was not really destined to become a great success but that was until we won it.Yes it was amazing Sreesanth,Yuvraaj, Joginder Sharma,Dhoni ; all of them pulled off something extraordinary that sits alongside the 83 world cup and 47 independence.But what followed wasn’t really that magical.First there came the ICL fathered by the ZEE network.Then BCCI came forward,declard ICL an illegitimate heir to its cricketing fortunes and produced its own offspring -the IPL.Then came the horse-trading,the bans on rebel players,the celebrity purchases,the outrageous price tags attached to the players and an orgy of super quick cricket featuring ridicously silly team names (Kolkata Knight Riders ??),ugly cricketing apparel (Pink and Gold - Really ?),irritating ad jingles (Shah rukh dancing to a bengali song) and controversies.A player hits a six and the camera pans to the bollywood click waving the flags and pumping fists.Movie stars sitting with the team,hugging them ,giving interviews and thus the unholy marriage of cricket and bollywood was official.The IPL soap opera was a script Ekta kapoor can only fantasize off.Movie stars jumping in stadium stands,cricketers slapping each other,celebrity battles with cricketers,leaked sms's and the like.With each match lasting the length of a Government office tea break,the real loser was cricket as it suffered from over exposure and crass commercialisation."Too much of a good thing" is a phrase they should have realised long time ago.

3) Maa ki Monkey.

Ok Racial abuse is vile and detestful but its quite funny when the class bully runs to the teacher with a stubbed finger crying "He did it".The harbhajan-symonds affair oddly enough ruffled so many feathers that in the end you have to ask yourself, Where do you draw the line.Cricket though a gentlemans's game has always been punctuated with the odd expletive or two . From bowlers silently mouthing four letter expletives on being thrashed for runs to cricket players gathering around the stump microphone and letting the odd one slip out much to commentator chargrin.Youtube is full off the behind the scenes action showcasingthe name calling that occurs while we are busy watching the commercials.So colourful language is more or less a mainstay of colorful cricket.So was the maa-ki monkey controversy really worth all the media time ? If you are prepared to throw your fist around at others you must be prepared to taste some of your own medicine no matter how foul it sounds .

4) Big Bother Shetty.

So Shilpa shetty tired of shaking her hips to forgetful item songs and "acting" in forgettable movies decided to make her international foray into the world of Reality TV.She should have expected the abuses and we should have anticipated the tears.While the media woke up to the blunt racial abuse she received for a day (conveniently forgeting the scores who put up with this in everyday life) the poor Ms Shetty became the media's "Goody-Two-Shoes" (pun intended).So she won the contest,multiple movie contracts received several accolades and even several kisses of an Aging gentleman.The lady has gone ahead making a mockery of all the hue and cry raised against prompting the question.Why was there all the drama in the first place?

5) Sub Primal Fears.

I have detailed this in an earlier post but for those unwilling to read that ,here is an outline story.

Sub-Prime Crisis -> Market Crash -> Chaper 11 Bankrupty -> Bailout Packages -> Recession -> Pink Slips -> Screwed !

6) The Coloured US President

Like the fate of the whole world depended on it,we watched the confident Mr Obama,the cunning Ms Clinton,the absurd hockey-mom Sarah Palin and the severely damaged John Mc-Cain.The US presidential election that gobbled billions of tax payer money and hours of prime time television was perhaps the best thing the US government has given us this year.Lets see what a Lil colour does to the White house (Soon to be renamed as Caucasian House).

7) The Indian Movie.

Yes folks its not a movie any more,its an exercise in PR.With big companies producing the big banner movies and allocation a generous fraction of the film's budget to its media propagation this shouldn't really be surprising.So now we have "superstars" running marathons,signing books,giving parties,cutting hair,blogging,painting portraits,hugging anyone within arm's reach.That all apart from the media headlines (Breaking news :Star X has a mole on left butt cheek),the interviews,the TV shows hosted and the numerous products ranging from deodorants to jets.Let the story be contrived and trash,inspired from Popular Hollywood blockbusters (Read : copied).It doesn’t matter.So the script writer of a Bruce Almighty rip-off religiously swears that the script was his own brain-child and the actors promote it heavily as well.They rake in the moolah that’s for sure but I would love it if they don’t hijack the media so much at release time.

8) The Indian Reviewer.

CNN IBN I think started this trend.Have a movie reviewer with a sufficient vocabulary and necessary sarcasm lamblast a movie on release day.Its a guilty pleasure watching some poor director's ill advised venture be verbally stripped down with intellect and wit.Like all good things its now become a widespread concept.Online movie reviewers use their bits and bytes to the same effect and reception.While its really nice to know if the movie is worth it or not, this must surely come as a rude shock and a bitter pill to swallow for the ones funding this movie ventures.Its alright as long as the view points are unbiased because I am pretty sure soon these celebrity reviewers would be getting a star's salary for a more mellowed review with better star's

9) Terror attacks

The year through we have seen an escalation of those cowardly acts of Terror in India and the world around.Senseless fanatics brainwash impressionable youth to pull off dastardly acts against innocent people.All this in the name of religion,land and god.It takes a few seconds to destroy centuries of Good Will and such acts only increase the bias against religion and division on lines of faith.Hopefully this will all reduce in the years to come and we learn to be more tolerant and understanding but the chances are pretty slim for that. Probably the list is hardly relevant,incomplete and irresponsibly written (you have my apologies) but these were the things that I thought made headlines(sometimes unnecessarily).Do let me know if I have missed out something significant or merely ranted about something insignificant.Oh and among other things.

Wish you a Happy New year.Have a great 2009.

Thank You

2008-12-18T14:09:00.000+05:30

It was over dinner some days ago. I was sipping my steaming "Hot and Sour Chicken Soup" when I received an unexpected compliment.
Since I don’t receive that many of those in my day-to-day (read year-to-year) life, it made me quite happy.
The compliment put simply without the extended frills was…You are very polite to hotel waiters.
And that got me thinking….Am I really polite ? Yes I rarely scowl or get angry at waiters in hotels and I thank them for the little services they dole out to me and I tip generously within my limits. But why do I really do that.So I thought I list out the reasons both selfish and genuine for being thankful to the people who work in the Services Sector.
1) Waiters at restaurants.
Well for starters I feel their job is a real thankless one. And it gets really terrible for them when orders get messed up,food ends up served cold, dishes taste quite contrary to what their names suggest and delays occur in the food service.Day in day out, they get at least one embarrassing yelling from some customer in front of several others who go silent and watch the ongoing tongue-lashing with absolute interest. Its not always their fault. Stress and workload do cause even the best people to falter and the bearer of the food isn't the creator of it.So I guess it really helps if on approaching a table of guests he sees a smile instead of a scowl and is treated with respect rather than disdain. Plus I really don’t want to antagonize the one person who handles my food. There are many creative ways in which he could take his revenge and I rather enjoy my food untainted and served pleasantly.
2) Rickshaw drivers.
They have the tendency to overprice your normal journey, never really have change for your 100's and 50's and break every traffic rule worth mentioning. I still alight from the rickety rickshaw with a thanks. Sometimes its just out of sheer relief to have emerged from the ageing whining contraption equipped with a sound system designed to render you senseless. Sometimes because its really nice to reach your destination earlier than expected, thanks to the very enterprising rickshaw driver who picks the right shortcuts to the destination.Also because I have noticed that my arguments with the driver tend to be shorter owing to the compliments given and cause the weary man sometimes raises his head in wonder at my polite gesture and mumbles back a "Welcome"
3) Household help.
Given a choice they probably would rather spend their day beautifying their own homes. But the fact they try to turn our houses to the warm cozy homes we are too lazy/busy to shape into. Some appreciation is always due.
4) The Bellboy.
By this I mean the guy who stands in the elevator and presses the buttons of the lift. The reason for having such a person always escaped me. The lift doors open automatically and need not be pried open. The lift doors after suitable time-outs close and open on their own volition. But these bellboys have been employed ,perhaps for the arbitration mechanism to ensure that all requests from every floor is suitably served. I normally mutter my thanks to the boy who mans the lift. If I had to spend my day in the belly of a mechanical beast that works against gravity day-in day-out, I could use a kind word every now and then.
5) The Barber.
Its really not a simple task to trim my hair. Rules of nature have played some cruel trick on me giving me a substantially large egg shaped skull with curly and unmanageable hair. The poor person with the comb and scissors normally looks at a loss when I demand that he gives me a good suitable cut. The good cut he could manage with ease. Making it look suitable on me is quite a challenge most barbers fail at. Still I am glad he has willed himself to the task instead of chickening out and to this I am always grateful.Also as Calvin rightly pointed out. Never criticize a person with a razor.
So in the end you can see, there may be a hundred reasons why you could criticize the person serving you. But if you can brush aside those hundred reasons and find a single reason that could help you thank the person, you've probably made his day and in the long cycle of Karma...your's too.

Pink on the inside !

2008-12-17T22:36:00.000+05:30

I must admit,the only recession i was really concerned about till a month ago was that of my hair line.With hairfall on the rise,I used to stare at dismay at my comb which retained more hair than my head. Nor did the sight of my drains clogged more than a fat man's arteries help my ego in anyway.

No i dont look in fear at the mirror anymore.It doesnt scare me at all.What could scare and scar me would be a look at my portfolio in ICICI Direct but lets really not go there.The only other place i have seen more red is in a Quentin Tarantino flick.Its sad,its depressing.Every time I heard the oft announced "Mutual Funds are subject to Market risk" I changed channels.How i wish i listened to that fast and ominous voice .

I could have listened to the people who took stock of the situation and told me to stay out of stocks.I could have paid attention to all those harbingers of doom who professed that the end is nigh.But alas i didnt pay heed and now all i do is pay.

So the recession's come,like arthiritis crippling the spines of the weaker economies,cracking the achilles heels of other stronger and people have started panicking.Rumours spread like wild fire.Suddenly every company around you is chucking loyal employees out.You begin to eye grave looking superiors with fear and soon you realize that fear is kind-of-mutual.There is this new trend going on in India;" Show me the pink slip and i will slit your throat ".So the 360 degree fear feedback is justifiable.Everyones feeling the heat and all the air-conditioning doesn't help.

You dont find the coffee machine coffee taste bad anymore : you are glad its there for you to drink(Though i hear as part of downsizing some companies are removing that too).

You would gladly pay for the free meal you were getting for years

and whats more...The appraisal at the end of the year...Not the worst topic to bitch about.

You also notice that things begin to vanish..Its innocous at the begin.You wouldnt know unless you were looking for it...or responsible for the vanishing trick.

Papercups,Free biscuits,Food Coupons go first.

Then goes the picnics,team lunches etc

Finally the sting comes and before you know it : your bonus is missing,your salary is chopped liver and that rung you thought you would climb to reach greater heights, seems to have disappeared entirely.

Still thats not bad...Its when you see people around disappear that you should cover in your cubicle,clutch that nameplate and nametag really hard coz you never know when the pitchfork sears your ass.

It shocked me intially when recession hit.It wasnt like the frequently described punch to the solar plexus that knocked your lungs clean of air.No it was a domino effect and a steady one too.Small little chunks of losses crashing into each other until,the stakes and the sizes of the losses reaches glacial heights.It was the worst proof of the "ButterFly Effect" (A fart in America can be a Category 5 cyclone in Asia and vice vers)To me a challenge to my livelihood and to my near and dear friends never seemed possible.My biggest fears were missing deadlines and Dhoom 3 release.And now everything seems so uncertain,everything's changed.

Maybe its all just hyperbole.Maybe the new year would bring in more reasons to cheer for and

some huge multi-billion dollar financial lifejacket will cover the asses of those sinking multi-corps(And hopefully ours too).But i am not holding my breath and waiting for a miracle.No I am just praying that this financial tsunami misses the Indian Coast entirely.

PS : Some bad jokes that had me giggling earlier when i was trying to sleep.

Whats the difference between sex and a pink slip ?
One gets you laid on and the other gets you laid off

Whats the similarity ?

Either ways you are screwed.

The Programmer's Lament

2008-08-22T16:14:00.000+05:30

I am a software programmer,the best you can find,
In tiny snippets of code I display my brilliant mind.
All my codes compile,that you may note,
I use them all smartly from integer to float.

I know all design patterns,hell I wrote some on my own ;
And from my nimble fingers,has wonderful software grown.
I build smart web applications that can turn the world around
And I worked on every language that can ever be found

So I sit late hours and I never get bored
When I am churning out perfect bytes of code
My wife's probably left me, I don't find her home
She doesn't send me emails nor texts to my fone

But I don't really care,she was a boring nag,
I rather stay in office, than listen to that hag
I am quite a loner,not a man of the masses,
I have work so hard, now I have soda glasses

In the end,you may note,my paypacket is quite high
But I don't really have time to spend it, O SIGH !
I am not discontent,I am quite happy.
Inspite of being in a workspace that is so crappy.
I will give all my I can to this lonely job I got,
And continue until they replace me with a bot !

(c) Akshay Sudhir

PS : This is my 50th post in my Dashboard,that does not mean i have published all 50.
But still its a personal high !

Where has all the love gone ?

2008-05-21T00:39:00.000+05:30

I am a reluctant blogger and an even more reluctant poet.Its because i keep searching for a good theme that I keep writing and saving up blog posts on my blog dashboard ,that i am sure will never see the light of day.Nevertheless there comes an occasional idea that pops into my head and refuses to leave,until i put it down in writing and this one right here is one of those.

I was wondering what it would be like to be in the shoes of a middle aged man,faced with the monotonous routines of everyday life and this is what i thought it would be like.Ten years from now,i might revisit this post (If the blog does exist then) and rewrite this whole entry or at least smirk at my "perspective"of things but for now : It stays as it is

Written sometime between 11.15 and 11.45 (AM) today. Here goes

Where has all the love gone ?

You sit there,looking beyond me
The tv switched on,the volume loud,
Drowning the need of conversation
And the chance of it.
And I wonder to myself
Where has all the love gone ?

Dinner, a symphony of forks and spoons
Striking cold ,the china echoes
With you and me munching on noiselessly
The air heavy,the silence thick
And I sigh and think
Where has all the love gone ?

The sheets of satin,white as snow
Our room once filled with laughs and moans
Now eerily quiet,you already asleep
And I lie on my side,the thought rages on
Where has all our love gone ?

But then at the stroke of midnight
The little one yells in her sleep
And you are up in an instant
I follow you,brushin sleep from my eyes
She wimpers on your breast
As you quell the demons of her sleep

And I realize as it dawns on me..
The love isnt gone..
The passion may have died down,
its embers long cooled
But our love doesn’t reside only in our bed
Not in sweet nothings ,not in polite banter
Not in frequent reassurances
Not in scented candles and gifts

Coz there lies in your arms,the perfect proof
Of care ,concern : of passion,of love
Of the future,of the wonderful past
Our lil angel,now yawning off to sleep.

As we pull the covers onto our sleeping angel
Our fingers touch,our eyes meet
With one glance,you know !
And with a wry smile,you push me off to bed.

The Diary

2008-03-13T00:28:00.000+05:30

I like writing in the middle of chaos.Around me or Within me .Most of my poems come I am surrounded by people yelling their lungs out at each other or when I am in a state of inner conflict.Its also why i like scribbling my poems on bits of crumpled paper because that is like setting the mood ; reflecting the turmoil in me .This was one such poem,born in sobriety and I dedicate it to my blog and the two notebook diaries i maintained in the past.

Another day ,Yet another page

The hero

2008-02-09T17:48:00.000+05:30

This is yet another rant of mine.A poem that fermented its way into my mind during a break i took from all the coding in office.I completed it today and thought i would post it.Its a rather pessimistic look at heroism . I dont claim originality for this piece as its an inspiration from a really famous poem ... Ozymandias

So here goes... The HERO !

There you are Hero ! High on the pedestal!
The center of the crossroads,where life never stands still
The vehicles pass you by,
I see the dust specks on your brow
But you stand firm,on your square patch ground
A faded garland splayed over your chest.

The marble writing fades,the chiselling undone
The songs that echo your battles now fade
As the unfortunate souls by your blade.
And I cant help but wonder
What purpose did that serve you
The evil you vanquished,has respawned
Stronger than before,your work's undone

What did you do ? O Matyr so brave
Added another page to history
As you fell to your grave.
What did that do ? O Champion so Strong
Just another page for the kids to read
As you made your way into the valley of dead

You fought well,you made your mark
But didn’t you flinch for you children in the dark?
Their mother ,bundle in her arm,
Bading the restless kid to sleep
As the storm raged on ,outside and within
Did you stop to wonder what became of them ?
Did you mean to stifle their laugh
As you cut your life by half

Now hero,What did you gain
By putting all of them in pain
The men in their palaces you served
While you died the death they deserved
Your statue they errected
While your familys tears flowed unabated
Your services they compensated.

You never lived to see them grow
Nor did you see the tears they shed
Thanks to all those might blows
And the death to which you bled

So marble statue,I have no respect for you
In your pride smirks your fall
In your brave feat ,lies your defeat
But still you stand firm,on your square patch ground
A faded garland splayed over your chest.

- Note : If you dont recognize the image of the hero.He is William Wallace : Scottish legend otherwise known as Braveheart (remember the Mel Gibson movie ?)

Take Me Home,Hosur Road !

2007-12-24T00:45:00.000+05:30

" I would like to be on leave from 18th to 31st" I stated to my Pl in my best matter-of-fact tone. I said it despite expecting only half of it to get sanctioned but then it doesnt hurt to get over-confident once in a while.So I didnt really expect the "ok" i heard from him and later from my PM either.God knows how many days off I've taken this year for one illness or the other but then they sensed that I havent been home in a while (Probably b'coz I had been ranting and raving about it every lunch hour) and so here i am once again in the cozy room I share with my brother.

Of course I didnt expect things to change drastically in TVM during the ten months of my absence.My mom however is a firm believer of the policy " Nothing is permanent but change" So other than the computer and bed i guess everything else got the royal boot.My study table filled with such wonderous objects of childhood fantasy (Nothing taboo..) replaced by a monstrous wooden table adorned with music systems flowers and other such artefacts only a woman would find suitable in a room. I dont find anything wrong with all this,mind you,its all too pretty but its hardly the room i left in Febuary.

And I must say I missed my home so much.The absence of dirt and dust,of clothes thrown haphazardly strikes me as odd.The sight of a refrigerator filled with food brings tears to my eyes and the absolute pleasure of strolling into the kitchen and finding food instead of a Computer(Yeah there is a computer in my bangalore house kitchen !!!) is beyond words...And it shows in my current physical anatomy. In just a few days i have managed to ingest such large quantities of food that i really cant see my feet if i look down !!

Also after travelling on the dusty congested hosur road to office at the blistering speed of 5 to 10 km per hr,My joy at zooming through empty trivandrum roads was unparalleled.Here again at home,feeling the warmth and security no other place can offer, I wonder what really made me leave all this for greener pastures.Bangalore, the city thats getting clinically devoid of greener pastures, where the only thing greener than tvm is the money that i find my pockets laden with..But at what cost ?I eat foul oily food,I breathe foul polluted air,I live in filth and grime. Rather than being ensconced in the luxury that trivandrum offers , i chose to wallow in my pigsty in Bangalore...and in my own self pity :(

Still at the end of it all, I know i will return to the place i crib about so much.But i will try ti return here more often, I think 10 months is too long a time to be away from home..Well theres a lot of catching up i got to do around here... I just thought i would start off with my dear little blog ...Thats all for now.I need to go and get myself some shut eye before another day of gobbling down delicious homemade food.

Herez wishing all my readers and Friends

MERRY XMAS

Flipsides !

2007-10-18T22:53:00.001+05:30

I managed to churn out two poems during the course of the day.One nostalgic,sentimental and romantic ,the other vengeful merciless and sarcastic.Both poems were written in the space of 15 minutes,the romantic preceding the more violent.The mild docile "Search" was written while listening to "Pokathe" (A tamil song from movie named Deepavali) while the violent "Soprano Song" found its birth with the words of Linkin Park (Nobody's listening).

The conclusion , music heavily influences your way of thinking.Also office hours are for official work alone :)

The Search

Night turns to day,day wastes itself into night,
And I search for you from darkness to light,
As savage brutal hours of seperation,
Indent the absence of you in them.

While I fight the distance that seperation claims,
Time mocks my efforts to hasten it by,
Still the days roll by,time moves on,
And suddenly its like u havent even gone.

In front of me you stand,like you've never left
And again I fight with time ,this time to keep it still.
But day turns to night,night spends itself to day
And I will resume my search ,as into the dark u fade away .

The Soprano Song

The dust stings my eye,as the wind blows by
And I wish that you hadnt made your choice
Its not that I have anything against you
I admire the guts you shown,Alas !
lady luck isnt smiling at you any more
And its your guts that will line the floor

You should have remembered, you arent alone
Two kids and one more in tow
U should have thought of them and said no
But then you stuck to your word and they will mourn
As the cracked walls , your foto will adorn

I asked you then to think this through
But you didn’t buck down,you played your hand.
I wish things were different,I wish you kept them different
But you proved me wrong,you changed the stakes
You shouldn’t have crossed my path,now that you did
You will pay the price, as I play my hand.

I will be there ,with a wreath to lay on your grave
A symbol that marks you,the fallen knave
The price you will pay for being a thorn in my side,well
Is a bullet through ur head and a ticket to hell
So shut up you ***** ,see me aiming at ur head ?
Now to fill you with a barrelful of lead !

The Glass Divide

2007-09-25T23:47:00.000+05:30

Cafe Coffee Day isn't the best place for food if that is what you are looking for.The plastic wrapped sandwiches always leave me disgusted right from the very first bite.They serve good coffee thankfully,though you should be careful when you choose,many items on the list don't really appeal to the normal Indian palate.Last time i visited the cosy coffee day shop close to Forum, i decided to play it safe and order one of those simple drinks they really couldn't mess up ,Hot Chocolate.Deeps decided to order the more unorthodox Irish coffee.Seeing the look of disgust spread all over her face,the chivalrous akshay in me offered as barter,my sweet tasting nectar for her vile-tasting-pitiful excuse for coffee

Sipping that foul tasting miserable coffee,I realized two things,That chivalry is over-rated and Why all Irish singers and actors look miffed all the time.Heck if the coffee i drank every morning was so putrid, i wouldn't exactly be radiating happiness the rest of the day.Barring the drink and the awful sandwich that we purchased the experience wasn't all that bad.Nice music ,cozy ambiance and comfy chairs made up for that.Forgetting the bad food we ordered...we kept on talking about random topics when it happened.

He was only around 14 -15 years of age.A little on the plump side ,the kid was dressed in a dirty cream shirt and grey pants with flecks of dust adorning his forehead and cheeks.A construction worker ,who was helping to spruce up "Hungry Buddha", the little food joint about Cafe coffee day.All of a sudden,the kid placed his hands to his face and pressed his chin onto the glass pane of the restaurant and peered inside at us.As he surveyed us with an intense unblinking stare,the entire shop felt silent for a moment.The chattering couple close to the window , a bit perturbed cast furtive glances at the kid.We found a sudden inexplicable interest in our drinks.It was only a few moments but it had its effect on us all.Uncomfortably squirming in my seat,i wished the boy would just look away.After what seemed like an eternity ,the kid made his move,probably summoned to dust a few more tables or mop the dirty floor.The moment was gone,laughter rang once again and the coffee i was sipping in copious amounts overpowered my sense of taste again.

I would not forget the boy nor the look on his face.All that separated him from me was a 2 cm thick glass pane .But that was a world of a difference.Here was a kid peering into what was affluence,what money could bring him.Here was a little kid who might never know what it is like to be sitting in the lap of luxury,to be on the other side of the glass divide.Here was a kid who worked his way for the next meal .What is worse ,at his age i had not a care in life with my next meal served piping hot by my doting mother.And there i was sitting in front of a cup of tasteless coffee,finding fault with the very place i am in,not knowing that there were so many,who just wanted a chance to be where i was,to find out what it is like.

The kid was no longer standing by the window.Yet the window carried the stain of his frosted breath on it. Reminding me that though he was longer there,the thoughts his presence infused in me,would remain ,not fading away,long after that coffee's taste dies off within me.Stepping out of the Cafe Coffee day,i was painfully aware of the stark contrasts that exist around me.The beggar women who sit just outside the joint,the little kids peddling beads,the small kid with the weighing machine charging a rupee for his services.How long can we pretend that the Glass divide that separates us is opaque ?

The Confession

2007-06-23T16:31:00.000+05:30

Coming from me this is a summary of my many relationships to date,the ones that have ended I mean..This isnt about the friendships that have frizzled,waned over in time .'Coz those coming from almost mutual disinterest in each other can never really exist in the deep recesses in the mind as a nagging feeling of guilt or a sharp pang of pain.This poem is about all the relationships that have gone sour,that have ended in mutual hate or disgust ,painfully or otherwise.Its my way of acknowledging that past is past and that whatever lasted was beautiful and in hind sight might have had so much value if it had not ended.It is also my way of expressing gratitude to the few who still remain .

I really hope that when I read this poem again I wouldn’t have a fresh face to picture,a newer name to associate with each paragraph and another painful departure from my ever shrinking circle of loved ones.I also wish to convey to all those who associate themselves to me in one of the below paragraphs,in any way .I am sorry for putting you there,embedding you in those lines but I am really glad you were there before the lines were written,before this poem was written.And I am sorry for the way things are now.

I MISS...

I miss the ones who have gone out of my life
Not because they wanted to but because I pushed them away
Battered and bruised,they picked themselves up and left
Never to return again,I miss them a lot

I miss the ones who have me out of their life
Not because I wanted to leave but because they found out
That I wasn’t the man they thought I was or wanted
And that they were so much better off without me.

I miss the ones who have no other choice but to let me go
'Coz I am part of a road once tread,a path once taken
That they painfully remember but yearn to forget.
So I am out of their life while the wounds start to heal

I miss the ones I was told to forget,asked to let go
Cheated into believing that it was much better that way
In retrospect, I used another's judgement against mine
And I am not really certain if I was right,not yet.

And worse yet, I miss the ones whom I find reflected
In all the above reasons combined,coz its proof
That I have hurt, I been hurt,might still hurt and get hurt from.
Against my better judgement or otherwise, I've been separated
From someone who could in my life have more significant role today
Than be a closed chapter from my life's distant yesterday.

Akshay S

The Recursive Proposal !

2007-06-19T18:33:00.000+05:30

Something i came up with during a lunch break in the middle of a training session I attended last year.For those of you who don't know,I dabble in poetry every now and then.So here's what i call the recursive proposal. Enjoy !

If I am a joke ,you're my laughter.
If I am a song ,your would be my tune.
Can I say we'll live happily ever after?
Or you think that would be too soon ?

IF I am a programmer you are my code!
If I am a poet you would be my ode!
Should I assume that u too feel the same?
And hopefully not find all this too lame.

I just compared you to the four things I use
And I wish u like all of them too
'Coz I enjoy three of them at this moment
And Programming is the work that I do

I hope there is a smile on your face right now
I wish I could see your face glow
And I know I just want to see u smile
'Coz for all I know its been quite a while

Make my day and send me a reply
A single line or word would do just fine
I just want to know u read my little letter
And I wish to know if u are really mine

Hope I didn’t scare u off with my first four lines
Have i kept u reading on till now ?
If that is true there is one thing left to do
That is to ask the first four lines back to you

So if I am a joke , you really are my laughter
If I am song,you definitely are the tune
May I say we'll live happily ever after…
Or Do you think that it would be too soon ?.

Akshay S.

The Bookie

2007-06-05T16:13:00.000+05:30

There's always been a lonely morning or a rainy afternoon,when everything around slows down to a stand still.Friends and family busy,TV filled with mindless repetitive rehashes of nonsensical trash and the computer too impersonal.Its then that i go dig into the shelf for some dusty old forgotten treasure,wipe its surface clean,grab a bag of chips and immerse myself in another world,far removed from the trappings of my everyday life.

The first book i ever had was one about a cat getting entangled in a ball of yarn even though it was warned to stay away from it.The story was read to me by my mom whenever i was fed my lunch and i loved to trace my fingers at the beautiful illustrations and laugh at glee at the cat that got stuck.Just like the cat i found myself sucked into this wonderful world of make believe ,something my parents encouraged.

Soon my parents found out,that my brother's and my voracious appetite for literature would cost then a tiny fortune and lot of room space if we kept buying what we read.That lead my dad to take us on a Sunday morning to a quaint old Victorian building close to Palayam (Place in Trivandrum).Public library always had this damp musty smell in it and an odd eerie silence enveloped the place making it hard to believe that it was so close to the road.Entering it always filled me with a distinct awe . I loved the red and brown bind of all the books that were present there. I loved smelling the yellow fading pages and stroking the hard bind that enveloped a new magical journey i would undertake once i reached home(and finished my homework ! )

Our membership ID was 13018B ,The letter B indicative that we were entitled to 3 books and 2 magazines for a period of a month.I remember running around the library,inviting frowns from the elderly and the management,searching for the elusive blytons,hardy boys ,nancy drews and bobbsey twins i so much adored. I remember leaning over the librarians desk squinting at the books lying under his desk,searching for the rare "CaseFiles" ,arguing with the librarian when he refused to let me have the book of my choice.I remember hiding books behind shelves to be picked up the next sunday dad takes us to the library or snooping around for elusive stashes by other like minded souls.

I must say that what i read those days wasn't among the finest of literature.The "peter pan"ish hardy boys or nancy drew who never grew beyond 18.The "LOOK OUT!!!" style with which each chapter ended and "Thank god it was nothing " way the next chapter began soon wore out the excitement that the stories filled.But that happened only a hundred books later.It was years later that i found out that Franklin W Dixon ,Laura lee hope and Carolyn Keene really never existed and that i realised the concept of Ghost writers.Still i would be eternally grateful to all those who penned those books and filled my days with action and adventure.

The teenage years saw me reading the earlier forbidden world of adult fiction more.Sidney sheldon's and Alistair maclean's soon seemed more appealing than wise cracking teens with magnifying glasses.My school library soon became my next favorite haunt. There again treasure hunting resumed,Cupboards that shelved encyclopedias would have Alistair Maclean's wedged in between them.The librarian would call us in batches of 5 and give us 3 mins to find two books of our choice.The time constraints only made the searches more exciting.We would leave the library after making it look like a war zone.

Soon in a bid to improve my English,Thomas hardy,Jane Austin,Ernest hemmingway became my new favorites . I was intrigued by the Social Lives of the woman in Jane Austin's era,captivated by thomas Hardy's works ,stunned by the metaphorical allegories that Rushdie intricately weaved into his works and amazed at the indomitable human spirit which hemmingway so beautifully captured.Those were some of the best days of my teenage life.

I think i stopped reading this much soon after we got our computer.The computer games put me in control of fantastic worlds ,my books only let me watch them as a spectator.College came by and my visits to the libraries became a rarity.

Lately i have begun right from where i left off.I dont go to libraries any more,I buy the books i want to read,now that i have the financial liberty to do so.But i somehow miss the pleasure those library books had to offer. The worn out edges and the faded pages offered more warmth that the freshly printed books or the 'pdfs' that i now read. I guess i should start looking for a library in Bangalore..

Type casted !

2007-05-23T21:44:00.000+05:30

I sit in front of the computer screen with the blogger dashboard open and nothing pops into my head.No witty repartees ,no stories to narrate. Having mentally scrapped several ideas,and thrown several statements into a recycle bin that rests somewhere in the back of my head, I sit humbled in a kitchen with the laptop in front of me with the drone of the television in the background and a mild breeze stroking my head.

Its the profession, i tell myself.The work i do that has killed the language i once twisted and turned to my need.Now everything i say or type has its stain all over it.Words come out as predictable as the switch statements and if-else blocks i nest into the code i churn out every now and then.
If i say something i add logical to it. I dont have problems anymore,i suffer from issues.
Impossible manifest itself as "not technically feasible".CC's and FYI's...Am i part of a culture that kills creativity and sows in its place formatted indented thoughts that compile and are platform independent ?

Its scary but i really hope i am not alone.Feverishly i hope that fellow bloggers out there,who were assimilated into Software professions struggle as hard as i do ?Misery loves company.As for me my rusty brain needs some sharpening and a new shine.

This article is by far the worst i have written so far.But its here as a reminder and as a statement. A reminder of my sagging sense of humour and lack of cohesive thought.And as a statement ..to myself.After 10 incomplete drafts in my dashboard ,here is my first complete post...Its never too late to start all over again.

March ON !

2006-06-30T00:02:00.001+05:30

So today I was traveling by bus to my college. Quite a normal thing to do, I catch one bus to Overbridge and from there the next to pappanamcode.The entire exercise takes a little under half an hour(subject to bus availability and my inability to cling onto another guy and simultaneously hang outside the bus).

Not to deviate from the topic, but as I was saying: I was traveling by this bus when suddenly the driver halts near Spencer Jn .I peer out of the window to see a few bored policemen watch a group of slogan chanting officers outside the Canara bank.
The festive nature of the tent quite contrasted the serious chanting .We passed by them quickly…

Nearing the secretariat we faced the next roadblock. Another march! This time it’s college students protesting something else. A cameraman kept running in front of them to get a perfect shot for the next day’s paper. The sweating chanting mass of students seemed to pause for a moment for that photo finish and then they picked up steam. The blocked traffic seemed to provide them the adequate audience…The slogans got louder and so did the yells of zindabad .

Behind this enthusiastic group of students was another group albeit smaller. A group of elders pledging allegiance to some religious cause was backing the group in the front! It was amusing to see the 10 men walk behind that large banner. Right behind them was a “super-fast” bus. The bus driver looked like he wanted to run over these guys over and over again..

Ok! Three rallies are over…Now lets get a move on, we been waiting at “Statue” for 10 mins now! The driver placed his foot on the pedal and the bus purred back to life. He hit the brakes seconds later. To my dismay a snake of protesters seemed to line up right in front of the bus and it kept getting bigger…More slogans More Placard More PPL. As I slam my fist into the empty seat by my side…the bus is suddenly alive with mobile calls. Nervous employees narrating to their bosses the sad plight of affairs.Husbands calling their wives …I pick up my mobile and launch a game of SNAKE. Four games later the bus is still immobile. Suddenly one of the strikers who managed to get the strikers in a single file…. granting enough space for the bus to move. That’s all the driver needed…gunning the engine he horned his way through the crowd and we were free…

I reached college 10 minutes later …

Now for some of the things that I observed!

1) You have the die-hard loyalists in the front and a couple of loyalists at the back just like headlights and taillights in the car. In the middle u have the cream of the strikers, impatient people checking their watches, giggling students, tired men and women. Watching them fight someone else’s fight is worth it:

2) Watching 4 strikes converge to the same place…Ever heard of booking? Something like “ We strike from 1.30 to 2.30..You guys take 2.45 to 3.45..Not happy about who goes first ? Lets Toss “

3) The futility of the whole exercise: The People within the secretariat aren’t gonna be overtly bothered by the thronging sweaty crowd outside.

4) Listening to the yells. There’s always one man in the lead with a bit of paper in his hand that he reads out aloud for the few people behind him. The MAN could be of the following types

: The Bold - Booming Resonant voice and long outstretched arm
: The Bored – Droning voice almost lethargic
: The Scared – The man who gets tongue tied by the gathering crowd
whispers out the threats.

5) That statue would be the best place to run a refreshment store ! Without glass windows of course

However therez always a silver lining. These marches provide much needed exercise for the paunchy middle aged protesters…

But to what purpose and to what end? God knows! Politics and religion are the hardest to understand but the easiest to follow. All u need is blind faith!

The Forgotten fruit.

2006-05-17T01:13:00.000+05:30

"An image of childhood remains ! Some chapter in my 3rd standard malayalam text about Gandhiji...Studying that chapter i am nearly moved to tears. "Dont worry" my brother says comfortingly..Once this final exam gets over..we will be at Kannur ..Imagine all the fun we can have..and all the Mangoes!! Just study for now!

Yes the image of mangoes were what rushed to my mind..every time i thought of the vacations...Interestingly they heralded a long welcome relaxed timeout from all the Exams esp those hard-to-study malayalam exams..To reach Kannur(my native place) and climb onto those mango trees ignoring mom's stern warns of gravity and its effects on careless boys , was a paradise worth the annual wait.

The raw mangoes with chilli powder and salt..cut and diced .The ripe ones soaked in a sugary syrup served after dinner.Aah Dishes fit for kings!! The raw mango delicacy always brought a frown from mom.Threats of "Ur gonna suffer tomm morn coz of that " are met with total disdain by the three boys..my dad my bro and urs truly. It was fun..dad would be in front of us..taking the lead in knocking those delicious mangoes off the trees..while mom sitting on the rocking chair would shake her head knowingly at her parents..so as to say "Boys will be boys".

But as the summers passed..the inevitable happened...we grew up...the kannur visits went from annual to once every two or three years..The seasons ceased to matter...with me spending bulk of my time in trivandrum .The mangoes in summer became the ones dad got from the markets....which never evoked any sense of nostalgia in me...i was as cold as the fork i stick into each mango bit.

Yesterday walking on the cemented path in front of my flat..i glanced up at the mango tree above my car shed.Laden with mangoes..the tree seemed to stagger under the weight of the surplus fruit.Egged on by a friend i picked the nearest stone and flung at it..A couple of misses and then i seemed to regain the old form.Knocking the mango clean off the tree..ignoring the shrieks of caution from my mom through the 2nd floor bedroom window....it was childhood all over again.Presenting my friend a mango and later knocking down two more for my dad and me..i returned home laughing...ecstatic...It feels so good to be a child again.

For all who lived in flats all their life..this pleasure may be long lost or never enjoyed...Like in the maaza ad ...we turned into slaves of commercial replacements of the real deal..Our kids might eat " organically-cultivated-tinned-sliced-mangoes-with-sugar-syrup-base ".Will they have the same thrills we had ? I doubt it . The thrill of getting stoned died off with our parents..the skill to stone will most likely die with us ;)

And i miss you ??

2006-05-11T20:55:00.001+05:30

I know its been quite a while...since i updated my blog.Project based concerns,Lab exams and even an Interview (Yes i have done them all...Topics that u might read in the days to come).

Today i must do something thats been on my "pending and To-Do" lists.Anoop has done it........Panguz done it in the past..... Not once but actually twice!!
And since its like a tradition among college bloggers..i guess i'll buck the trend as well .

But not without a twist..hehe what fun would it be if i serve u the same mushy stuff everybody else has done.So First a dose of the few things i really wont miss....

1)The dusty classrooms,the narrow corridors,the slush from the bathrooms making its way to the road in college,The profuse litter all about the campus..Even Chicken legs that sparked a day long strike

2)The lack of water...It surely was no fun joining the long list of depressed students with dried up remains of lunch encrusted on hands as we categorically searched each tap in the campus..The water cooler was also at the receiving end..overflowing with slush. Not a pretty sight!!

3)The claustrophobic feeling i get at the small enclosure..that was the college campus..Coming from a school that spanned acres, the caged effect was the hardest to overcome..

4)The canteen...coz the food mostly sucked!

So imagine my wide open eyes as i walked in to Rajagiri College.Sparkling marble tiled hallways,coffee machines,symmetrical building and gardens.Canteen with an amazing menu,wide open spaces...OH god!! The college spread out...with classrooms and labs that gleamed and sparkled...As we were herded away to the Interview halls..involuntary gasps of amazement escaped my lips as my mind attempted to evaluate all that i seen.

It put my college to shame...Not one iota of my college could be as clean as the rooms we were put into.Even the new cgpu block couldnt compare to the dirtiest bathroom in the rajagiri campus...Gosh i tol myself..this could be Engineering heaven...

" Yaar this is so freakin amazing". The nth rendering of this line to anoop prompted his usual disgruntled irritated sigh ." So what ??? They dont have enough freedom here!"

Aaah Freedom..the one thing available in plenty in SCT...Hmm cutting classes is freedom..yes i agree..but once u cut class...what next...hmm hangout somewhere...hangout where ?...leave campus...oh alright..i'll do that..I've done that for 4 years..hmm good!!!So i got freedom in SCT...great!! then ? u got the various festivals...hmm half a dozen festivals that highlight organizational ineptitude...We have...ok Then ?? Half a dozen pass-outs struggling to be our teachers...professional incompetency at its peak...

So on and so forth..i ranted and raved...against my college till it struck me.OK its true my college sucked ...but i was in SCT not coz someone forced me to be in it...a 3358 rank in the entrance didnt entitle me to the royal treatment i scream for...We all dig our graves...i just dug myself a dirty and cramped one...Complaining about it..isnt right (or my right)!!

Haha...while i wrote this..i just scrolled through "Anoop's Painful Pleasure blog".True the only thing i can take back from SCT are the few friends i made and the lessons about life that i've learned...Guess that should be good enough for me.None of us will remember the dusty campuses or dusty classrooms..We will remember the faces that filled these dusy spaces.We wont remember that there never was any water to wash ourselves off..We'll remember all the holi fights! We wont remember the bad lecture classes...we would remember cramming together in the canteen or workshop.We wont remember tha tiled cgpu room...but we would remember the roll call for the selected candidates at the interviews.For what i am worth... i guess the love and the jobs we got was just good enough!!

Take My Breath Away!!

2006-04-05T19:34:00.000+05:30

Thats the name of the OST for the movie Top Gun (what made tom cruise what he is today!!).Sung by Berlin ,i heard that song..when my brother ( a big fan of the movie for all the flying sequences..he wanted to be a pilot ) .I used to love that song...though lately i want to kick tha ass off the one who penned those lyrics or at least choke that guy a lil......

"Take my breath away" is not something u would want to hear..when u are involuntarily gasping for mouthfuls of that life-saving air ur lungs is screaming for..A predicament i found myself in for tha last two days...Sinusitis, the doctor pronounced!!! and prescribed me the medicines.Little did i kno that recovery meant going through the same sleepless breathless predicament i found myself in about a month ago.But once that started i knew what i was in for (another old post click)..

And this time i was prepared!!

A tshirt that could be pulled off easily ....Check
Pants with Elastic Belt that could be easily lowered....Check
Good inner wear...check
Nice Deo...Oh yeah

So me and my dad headed off to the same doc...I picked up my token Slip and waited...tha lady hardly asked me any of my details (DOB NAME etc etc)..She just filled them mechanicaly..tol me to wait

My turn came..this is it...AM not gonna struggle sheepishly with the Tshirt like last time...

The doc calls me in..and i fill him with all the details..he picks up the stethescope and i prepare to pull off my T-Shirt.

He doesnt ask for it and checks me with my Tshirt on..something he hasnt done in ages.
Amazed i do all the breathing exercises and listen to him certify me non-asthmatic (such a relief) and Prescribe me the usual tablets.

" Oh and Nurse " the doctor announces... "Give him the Injection"

This is it..The injection...the drop of the pants behind that green screen..But this time...with a smile of triumph i march to the back of the screen..This time..i am ready.. I confidently seat myself on the green bed and wait for her to get that injection...

She comes with the injection.. i am on my feet..she drains the medicine from the vial ...i am untying the thread of my pant...she is taking the bit of cotton for the wipe after the plunge and i am pulling my pants down...

And she sits down, motions me to sit as well and gives me the injection on my arm!!!

Wait a minute ?? what is this..some sort of medical appetizer...a small dose before she shoves a large needle filled with cement like medicine.

Thats it ?? i asked her.."yeah go sit in the waiting room now for a while " with tht..she moves to the counter to write my dad the bill...

Now dont u think..the disappointment is cause i missed the chance of showing my butt...to that 50 something nurse...
Its just that...i came so prepared for the humiliating experience and there was none

Its the days when i dont anticipate it...that i get the "drop the pants " ..and i prolly would be wearing one of those extremely tight jeans that i would struggle to unbuckle or an underwear i wont be particularly proud off :). Its when i come totally prepared...i get the opposite of my expectations and that is quite dampening on my spirit..

Life always moves contrary to my expectations..When i am totally prepared i falter at something so silly..when i am caught unawares i excel...Is it because the size of the goals i set for myself is proportional to the level of my mental-conviction or is it 'cause of my darn luck ??
Is it coz i validate my success by the amount of effort i put into things??

Later on...a freaky thought occurs to me...What if ?? what if ?? the doc and nurse read my blog..and decided to treat me differently coz of what i wrote about them ? Its not entirely impossible..two or three weeks back...search for my full name on google and this is the first thing u would see....

Naaaah...they couldnt have seen...that...even if they did...its should be good for me..its nice to be treated differently now...my pant stays up and my tshirt down...Such a welcome relief...i just hope that next time...i dont have the need to fumble on that tight jeans again...

This article is dedicated to all my friends who swung me like a sack in class at the farewell party...I am glad coz that let me know what it is to feel like throwing up and feel breathless at the same time...U want the air to come in and u are afraid to breathe...coz u are afraid everything might just gush out.. A dual purpose oesophagus....such a bane at times.

The PUNdit

2006-03-31T22:58:00.000+05:30

Yes i love English..Not just coz its the only language i have total control of but also coz the possibilities of word play is quite fascinating..A Language of several parental roots none of which can claim total responsibility for the massive orgy of words it is today...English is best enjoyed orally and when the occasion permits in writing as well.. ;)

Here are quite a few one-liners and puns i came up with today as i was busy watching TV...Some mayb what u have heard..most of them are new...at least to me...and though they arent side splitting...i am hoping they will at least tickle ur funny bone a teeny bit

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever heard of a slaughter house that shut down due to cutthroat competition ?

Ever heard of balloon prices rising due to inflation ?

Did you know that most clients at the local undertaker are let down ?

Have u seen a sign at a utensil shop saying " Prices of Knives have been slashed!! "

Heard of members of bungee jumping team being dropped for no reason ?

Ever read this report on a website " the sales of bras have sagged during the month of november"

Sign u might never see at a church..." A missionary position is vacant at this church...please apply at the earliest"

Ad Line u might not have a chance to read : There has been a sudden spurt in the number of contraceptive users in India

Whoz the only one who can show a finger at all the people passing by and still manage to get help ? A hitchhiker

Whats the similarity between a lapdancer and a potter ? they both earn a living by making things hard

Who is the only person who would do a strip and feel happy that people laugh at it ? A cartoonist

Now for the sarcastic one that can get me branded as a PIG

whats the difference between a girl and a bitch... a girl can bitch while a bitch cant girl (he he he he)

Why did my affair with my bar dancer girlfriend fail ? coz we were POLES apart

What is the similarity between legs and jam ? guys like them spread (yeah i know..tht one was a lil cheesy )

Ever wondered y a dressed man is one with clothes on while a dressed chicken is butt naked ?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

See what i mean..there is no telling what a bored man with nothing to do and a thesaurus of wrong usages in his head might end up doing...

Till Later
Ciao

PS
The inspiration for this joke post..is of course Anoop Shanker, my dear friend...For the Flash presentation in ARTS FEST
i had written Good Music,Electrifying Performances ,Cutthroat Competition (not so great i know..but hey its just Arts fest..)

Anoop however made it Good Music,Electrifying Performances,
Cut throat Competition.Making us Perhaps the most brutal savage event managers EVER...

One mans doing is another mans undoing and vice versa...So this post is dedicated to HIM...Rock On Dude!

And I Swear !!

2006-03-28T20:21:00.000+05:30

No. i aint getting into a cheesy romantic mode and i aint gonna make any of those promises i dont intend to keep..Its just a lil post on a lil something i did today..Something i really aint proud of..but then since its much easier to type out things than say them to all... I chose from what u have read so far..the obvious..

So i aint the saint ... i use expletives as nouns pronouns verbs and adjectives...Sometimes i restrict my responses to four lettered words (not "yeah"). And to think that i have actually mellowed down after my ISC got over....Me kurien vivek and aneesh swore that our friendship would last and we swore at each other so often that generations of our families must have been put to shame....Aneesh hasnt changed much..hez gotten more explicit...check his website if u dont believe me...Between us and the bible, kurien chose the bible....so even "go to hell" is taboo for him..Vivek and me still find pleasure in the occasional swear....

Now that u know my "impressive resume"...let me just say...over the years i've learnt to be billingual in my approach..with my malayalam vocabulary progressing thru several levels of refinement (degradation)..

And today in a bizarre moment of anger at something that i find really silly now....
I let out an insulting swear at a friend....And he caught on it....real fast...I am really lucky i didnt get punched at..though at hindsight i think i deserved a swollen lip or a black eye..(buddy..that doesnt mean i want u to have a crack at that tomm...)

Its not that i didnt kno what i said..its not coz i didnt know its wrong..it just came out..when i did lose my cool and i am really sorry and terribly embarassed at what happened.. i know...words are like eggs..cant be fixed once broken...n all that...but still if this works...And i hope it does...I am sorry hazer i got mad at u over a crummy lil answer paper...and i am sorry and i do apologize in front of all...for being such a moron...and i do hope u find it easy to forget if not forgive ;)

That said and done..i plan to restrict myself to the language i am more in control of...English...
No i dont swear that i wont swear but i swear i will swear less ;)

As a fitting end , to quote a line i wrote in the School Magazine in 11th....Bleep u bleeping bleep of a bleep :) Must return to those censors !#$#%#$#$#

By the way...Aneeshz site aint for the faint hearted..but hez a good friend...so if u are into hip hop rhymes and slang...give his site a check...At least someone should...right buddy ;)

Holi Crap

2006-03-15T21:33:00.000+05:30

The yell starts it off...someone (arjun) bolts the door..."wait Sir is still in class" a concerned classmate (anand) busily ripping a packet of color, notes.The sir(Mr Rejimoan) takes the cue and grabs his books and duster eager to be out of the line of fire...The door closes on his back as a girl yells...Strike one...color lands on a head....Anand aims at jayasree or nandini and hits with flawless accuracy ...Splat !!! Arjun gets covered in color.The colors spread....gayu and anu make a run for the door...to be smeared with color from head to toe...

A fist of color from anand...i am pink....the next batch of colors from jayasree comes from a rub-turned-slap...red....deepthi ambushes me with pink...someone else gets yellow on me....Soon i look like a checkered rainbow design...haha i laugh to myself..only to have the colors vishnu threw go straight into my mouth...My yellow stained teeth turn pink...as war like yells fill the class as the more dress conscious scamper away for the non existant shelter.

But the packets dont last for ever and everything dirty has to come to an end...The exhausted multicolored group finally call it quits.....All eyes turn to anoop as he pulls down his zip and whips it out....excited girls...rush to him.."me first..me first" they yell...a couple of guys gather around as well..."Hold it"..he snaps and then snaps with his olympus camera...A dozen aching smiles later...we disperse a happy group to the taps...only to find them running dry..Suddenly the tap outside the cgpu offices becomes the hub of student activity.I soak my head under the tap and shake my head like a dog..getting the water off me and on all around...a few disgusted looks and i stop...Some hapless guy freshly cleaned gets another coat of color...

The games go on around the college...people with buckets filled with ujala...ambush others...
Some rush to get the next bus home...others like my classmates..cut class for the next movie
a few head for Rang De Basanthi..an apt end for a colorful day..others head for "vargam" a dumb malayalam movie.

So what if we dont know what holi stands for...so what if we dont have a harvest to celebrate ...evil spirits to exorcise...the festival isnt for the reason...Looks like good ol onam may need a rehash..a new story line perhaps..mahabali wanting to see all his subjects dance on the day he comes back from hell ...something on those lines...something "youth centric"

As for the images of the day..i surely hope...anoopz got them on his comp..didnt call him..coz it was past nine..and way past his bedtime..the images will make it to the blog on another day

And for all u guys out there...HAPPY HOLI.....thats my fistful of color for ya :)

Marked for life

2006-03-11T13:16:00.000+05:30

Been away from my keyboard for a while now.First there was this nasty summershower last friday coupled with god's photo shoots. Too much flash and my network card sizzled away...wasted like the rest of the weekend as i struggled to live a disconnected life.A trip to the local hardware hosp and she was fine...i taught mom to remove the network cable when i aint around..so hopefully my baby would be safe ( yeah Bro , if u reading this..shez MY BABY now ;) )

Then i had the exams,the first series that went parallel with campus recruitments in our college..(incidentally lots of ppl made it thru to slash support...congrats guys)
Lots of time available for each paper...but still i found myself with untouched textbooks,unwritten notes,unreadable fotostats of written notes and too many good programs on TV plus half life 2 which i had to play..(Gautam didnt gimme Anoops original version...last year..the bugger)..

The end result i didnt learn a word while at home..nor did any of my friend i guess coz each exam day found my class in a huddle listening to 'tape recorder' gayu and 'rapidex jose' ..both seems to know every word in the text by heart..the sole difference being that jose just gave the points u need to survive..gayu being the more detailed

I chose to learn by myself...running to these two for brief capsules of information and hence so far the exams havent been miserable..they been much better than i excepted

A quick look at the papers

Software Engineering...the kamasutra of project development..( u got all the styles..spiral model rad model..each one guranteed to give some programmer an orgasmic level of work to do for sure)

Computer Networks.. the only paper i know,thanks to the sir's undying faith in my drawing skills..each class hour finds me in the front of the blackboard on tiptoes drawing various diagrams while he grilled the class with questions...My escape from impositions and tough questions

Computer Architecture and Parallel Processing..essentially the class where i use my mob and my java text side by side..so much for parallel processing ;)

E-commerce..Yaawwwwnnnnnnn...Ma'mz finished the portions at record speed..God Bless her..
The first series with complete portion is due on Tuesday...hmm must find a Text

Principles of programming languages....A vague attemt to give ur programming skills a purpose like the bible or bhagwad gita...considering that i havent read either....PPL seems to be heading the same way..

Neural...Learning about how u learn ...its scared a few people like me..and inspired a few like Vishnu.

Now u prolly wonder y i did embark on such a description..it was partly a memory test for me
I spent the last five minutes trying to remember the subject names ..i finally got PPL by looking at my Book Shelf.This semester has been like this..education half forgotten,subjects half remembered and ppl like me TOTALLY BORED.And to think i might actually start missing all this in a month or so...
Sigh Grass is always greener on the other side

To Ad to your Pleasure

2006-03-04T21:10:00.000+05:30

I wanted to see "passion of the Christ" in the theatre partly coz i am a mel gibson fan and also because of the wonderful rave reviews that kept hitting the headlines everytime i checked out "GOOGLE news".Fate played its hand by keeping me away from the theatre when my friends went for it and not wanting to witness the trials and tribulations of Christ all by myself i refrained from making the solitary journey to the theatre..

So the movie left the theatres and slowly all talk about the movie receded into the past tense..I conveniently forgot about the movie until recently when star movies started airing Ads about the movie.Apparently the movie was to be telecast on the First Day of LENT and that too Without ADS.

Wow...now that is so awesome,praising the altruistic motives of Star movies .. i ensured nothing would come in my way on Wednesday night.

The big night came and so i found myself in front of the TV.

Christ is being questioned and tried in front of the angry mob... My mobile is ringing
Christ is being flogged mercilessly by the soldiers...My mom calls me for dinner
Christ is forced to carry the heavy cross on his weakened shoulders...The land phone rings
The nailing onto the cross begins..and My bladder is working Overtime

The movie gets over and off i rush....in one swift motion i leave my dried up dinner plate in the kitchen and rush to the bathroom while checking the umpteen miss calls and messages on my mob. A few mins later i propped myself on the bed and thought about the whole movie experience..IT WAS A great Movie..no denying that but the lack of ads added an extra sense of pressure.. i couldnt be away for an instant..i didnt want to miss a single expression..a single sequence..coz the movie was a work of art and yet i had so many of my normal routine activities to attend to.

Thats when i realised how useful Ads can be

1) to make that packet of noodles
2) to answer all those fone calls
3) to take a leak
4) to grab a bite or a bottle of juice
5) to answer ur parents and get to ur dinner.

Suddenly they dont seem a bane anymore..suddenly i appreciate them...Even that dumb matrix sim ad...Coz they do give us that much need time away from the BOX...that much needed break from fantasy to let reality sink in..

So Ad Free TV programs...no longer features on my wish list. Coz It should be easier to chew in little bites than swallow in one single gulp
( THINK CLEAN PPL>>> THINK CLEAN)

My World This Weak

2006-02-28T23:03:00.000+05:30

Its close to a week since i actually updated my blog.My breathing turned chronic,my cough turned into an unpleasant concoction of my normally loud laugh and a very raspy guttural sound.Sleep evaded me throughout the week and last friday found me gasping for breath in the morning.Convinced that a doctors attention was finally required, my dad drove me to the hosp.

About the Hospital : Geethajali hosp,somewhere near vazhuthacaud
My visits there : regular

Reasons for visits : from fever to my various cuts and scrapes...its a one stop shop for me..when i am in a hurry for medical aid

Ahh Akshay come In ("Welcome Back")

what now ?

ok take ur shirt off

The doc listens for a while to my lungs , noting the cacophony of sounds that emerged with each forced inhalation.
With that familiar look of concern he then prescribes the INJECTION

There is a quiet hallway located on the side of the doctor room..a pityful looking green screen shielding other patients from "behind the scene" sequences

The nurse..an aging lady..with this really sweet smile..been seeing her for so many years now.
She smiles..gives me a tablet or two and then proceeds to extract blood from my vein...The routine blood check.

Happy with that...she prepares the injection.

On my hand ? i ask with an outstretched arm..

No..she nods her head with her usual smile.."drop ur pants"5 minutes later i emerge from behind the screen,a hand gently caressing my violated butt ;)

This been the routine ...take the Shirt off...drop ur pants...Each time..i go there..for some ailment or the other..the sequence is almost the same..I end up as the butt of all pokes..so as to say...
The injection helped...my voice returned..the gasps stopped...sleep came to me as gracefully as before and the 8 0 clock alarm ( mom ) returned as my Morning starter...Thank god..The weekend..is over.

So has my attention to the blog returned..Its been a week to the day and i been weak till today.. It sure feels good to be back.

ASL please ?

2006-02-22T22:53:00.000+05:30

Ever been to chat rooms ? U should try..Its fun

Situation 1:
myakshaydear : Hi there
cutie_girl_1920 : Hi
myakshaydear : So asl ?
cutie_girl_1920 : Why Dont u visit my site ? its at site.I am a teen supermodel.I love to chat and i am hot.
myakshaydear : You dont seem to be talking sense
cutie_girl_1920 : yeah i like u too.Lets be friends. Sign up at my site.

Thats how a Bot Works

Situation 2 :
myakshaydear : Hi there
california_hottie : hi there
myakshaydear : asl ?
california_hottie : 19/f/cali of course ;)
myakshaydear : of course

Now situation 2 : can take two courses

a) i am taking to a girl who does justice to her id : (va voooooooom)
b) i am talking to a faker : ( Bummer !)

90 % of the time..its option b)

and i speak from experience

<Anoop> used to masquerade as a girl , rhea_unlimited ( unlimited eh....grrrrrr)
Kept getting offlines from him , innocous mildy flirtatious one liners...that i never responded to
He gave up the game...a few months later..but the memories of our one-line stands still remain.

But i wasnt always that wise...As they say "Burnt child dreads the fire".
My friend Aneesh played me for a fool and i fell hook line and sinker.

He took the role of an English teacher from new Delhi..and "she" added me as a buddy on yahoo.
The gullible me...eager for some feminine chat..took the bait..
A month or so ..later...he spilled the beans on me..with the aid of another friend Akhil.
Akhil's choking laugh still rings clearly in my ears...
I didnt talk to Aneesh for 6 months after that .

To my defense - i really did chat normally to the "lady teacher". And honestly i wish Aneesh could be that girl...coz she was so Damn nice.

Y do guys fall for such fakers..Simple ... Only a guy knows what a guy wants (as george sayz on Seinfield "Food and Sex,they are my two passions".If u can put that in words..u got ur manz attention..and sadly sickos...do that...all the time...

During Lab class ,Subash did the fake ..the guy he chattted to went bonkers..and was busy tryin to set up a really steamy encounter.And Subhash was just So damn good at that

Crosschatters are so common on the internet..its really hard to tell wheat from chaff intially but you will learn ( As i DID )

And for all of u out there who do get a kick out of this.. All i have to say to ya is
Be Sexual Bi sexual ;)

Had any such encounters ? Comment Please ;)

What that 14 year old girl actually was !!

Sleepless in C attle (really bad joke title)

2006-02-21T05:31:00.000+05:30

Its close to 5.45 in the morn and i am waiting impatiently for the darn paperman to arrive.Pretty ordinary thing...you might say,But for a normal late-riser like me who has seen sunrise only on TV and in photos , this surely comes as a shock to my senses.God only knows how long i been tossing and turning on my bed, which now looks more like a war torn battlefield than a place of rest.

A normal human being needs his eight hours of sleep.I havent had that many hours of sleep in the last two days combined.Attempts at it where met by nightmares, wheezing and sneezing.Cruel it is..the way the world operates.It took me an entire night of breathlessness to realise how valuable each breath of air i take as granted.It took me an entire night of sleepless tosses to realise the bliss in those few hours of sleep.Everything in our lives get quantified and tabulated only by their absence , never by their presence.You dont realise how much you love someone/something until you actually miss them and then its too late (or as in my case today morning..its too early).As i wash my blood shot eyes and face, the irony of it all just stares back at me and the grim look of my image tells me that i am in for another really crappy day.

6 hours of theory at college today....Good lord save me.

Of lines and eww mails

2006-02-20T22:54:00.000+05:30

Things you got to hate about emails and SMSes

1)Please read this message carefully ...which was been sent by Yahoo president Jay Russell... This is Yahoo President Jay Russell, I am sorry to announce that Yahoo has reached its maximum number of accounts two million......

Used to get this regularly, as offlines and emails. And it drove me up the wall…Chicho,an ol friend..seems so obsessed with this yahoo doomsday conspiracy that for the last three years shez been letting me know that yahoo is shutting down in the “weeks to come”. Bugged initially, I got used to these messages as perhaps the best link between the two of us, A pseudo “keep in touch” note which despite all my efforts she still truly believes in. So rock On Girl. Who knows: one day u might just be Right.Till then i will just keep deleting ur emails and offlines..with love of course ;)

2)This little girl. Dying in operation…requires a heck a lot of money..Concerned
AOL/Cellular operators..Pledging dollars to dimes for each forward of that message..

When friends don’t realize how hollow these mails sound, I guess you really cant do much to help them out.This type of Spam mail had apparently originated in 1997 somewhere in America and Now plague my mail inbox and EVEN MY MOBILE INBOX…Apparently Indian cellular operators who try to squeeze out a rupee from a paise..Seem concerned enough to pay for Mobile Forwards…BAH HUMBUG!

3) This is the Smiling Buddha…This is the laughing bunny..This is the rare white peacock! Send this to 10 ppl and u will have stupendous luck...50…. you will lead a happily married life…100 u will die and go straight to heaven.

Come on …people Get real! God doesn’t sit with a clipboard checking how many ppl u CC, BCC or just send the friggin mails to…Just delete and stop the chain for heavens sakes. Oh and if ur love will leave u just coz u didn’t forward that dumb message around…then prolly he or she wasn’t worth it anyways…There’s still more fish in the sea

4) No I don’t think Bill Gates want to part with his income…No I don’t think AOL does either…Even my brother mailed this to me and some other of his hapless friends…If he gets a paycheck from that..i will shave my head

5) Sign up and U and ME can get a T Shirt.Please pretty please….
One Peek at my inbox and I was convinced that all my friends ganged up on me..Are people really that desperate for Tshirts ??

6) Birthday calendars…when your friends send you such messages. It prolly hints just one thing…you are long forgotten…close friends don’t really need those bday alarm reminder things. They would prolly be dialing your number at 12 just to tell u that “happy bday”..rather than waiting for a birthday alert in their inbox.

Share a joke…send a cute forward…message even..Coz when u start binding ur friends around u with such dumb chains u prolly get trashed or thrashed.

OH and guess what I see when I open my yahoo messenger…Sigh some things never change

And they still call it funny..thats the seventh time i got it in one day :) Its a very small world

So What do u hate about emails and SMSes..let me know

Point to ponder :

Did u know ? SMS has no plural..inspite of the millions we send per day ?

The Deaf and the Dumb

2006-02-15T19:43:00.000+05:30

Was standing at this bus stop on my way to college today,when i started to notice this guy with a big smile running to another guy..Two taps on the shoulder,the other guy turns and they melt into one tight embrace..How gay! i say to myself..only to regret it the very next minute..as the two break away and rapidly begin to sign letters,words and shapes to each other..They are deaf..i say to myself in shock.Its then i notice, several such characters around me signing away to each other in all glory.Big smiles..innocent jokes..fingers poke at each other.A bus reaches and a few more such characters emerge...The conversation moves,as all of them gather around me..fingers chop through the air all around me and I get reduced to just a spectator in their midst..Its me with the disability..the only one among them who can speak.A mute spectator to a mute conversation,a silent observer to a silenced group.Minutes later they disperse and with that the noise returns..the sound of the bus,the horn of the auto,the ring of my mobile and the moment was lost.

Flash forward to the afternoon..i am sitting in the middle of the workshop writing a poem for the Arts fest competition. A little noise disturbs me and i glance up to see the start of an argument..two guys start pushing each other..Then pandemonium erupts..Several guys rush to the site of the fight and the dust begins to rise in the workshop.Let it end quietly...i pray and at that moment..the fight slowly leaves workshop..heaving a sigh of relief i return to the poem..only to hear a few warlike yells.Dust flies in front of the canteen and then the shattering sound of glass..The fight reaches its peak and soon the police come running into the campus and an abrupt ceasefire commences..I havent seen the battlefield but a friend has told me that the canteen is a bloody mess .

The Irony of the days events kept playing on my mind the entire evening..The group in the morning had no voice to argue and hence merged as one...No voices to call party slogans..no difference of opinion to voice.They stood merged and united .But at the college the difference is too well pronounced.There were people to yell out their opinions,people to yell at those with opinions,people to hit and those who get hit..

Whoz the one with the disability ? Those school students..who use fingers to talk ? or us who talk and use our fingers to knock the sense out of each other ?Whose the deaf one here ? the one who cant hear or the one who hears only the call of a fight ?Whose the dumb one here ? the one who cannot utter a syllable or the one who utters one too many?

You be the Judge:

Aside : Was planning to write about those special kids in the morning itself..in a much better context.. I guess the fight at college did change my perspective.. A point i wanted to mention...Unrelated to this

'was talking to Anoop yesterday....he was sitting in the bench in front of me....and i kept asking him to turn around and look at me..while i was talking...he said " But i hear with my ears na ?"
Seeing these kids today,i couldnt help thinking back to what he said.Here are ppl who face each other and talk...who look into each others eyes for signs of understanding...for those facial expressions...Anoopz line just hit me like a rock then.."

Bloody Trait-or

2006-02-11T18:47:00.000+05:30

Nowadays one of the Most popular types of forwards are the " If ur bday falls on this day "or" What Star are u" or" What is ur favorite color?"

Based on your selection... u find a list of "traits" that u are supposed to have

Despite the absurdity of such techniques. We all nevertheless seem slaves to the urge to say "Oh my God!! That’s exactly what i am"

The reasoning behind it is pretty simple...Wont it be lovely if we could read a person's mind by his birthday, his temperament by the color he chooses and judge his personality by the starting letter of his name.
The world would be so simple then.

On the dating service. I would probably record my details as follows..

My Name is Akshay S (7 letters long).I was born on a Tuesday April 18th and my favorite color is Black. I am a typical Arian...IF u are a Leo, Sagittarius or a Virgo and your name starts with R, D or M born on a Friday or a Sunday Please gimme a Call ;) I will be waiting.

Yesterday night I got yet another such comparison. Based on Blood type. Eerily enough the blood that flows through my veins (b+) seems to be responsible for more than i gave it credit.
So I ended up forwarding that to all my friends...

Blood group check out your traits!!

	BLOOD GROUP O	BLOOD GROUP A	BLOOD GROUP B	BLOOD GROUP AB
*In a nutshell*	Cannot stand people who hide the truth	Pessimistic and too sensitive	Cannot take orders easily	Romantic and sentimental
*Basic Behavior*	Make objectives clear	Careful about decision-making	Make decisions fast	Extremely practical
	Possess great deal of confidence	Make things clear in black and white	Can be flexible	Excellent in analyses
	Honest, optimistic and energetic	Care too much about social rules and standards	Do not care about rules	Give fair criticisms
			Respect scientific and practical findings	Cannot decide when it comes to important issues
*Tolerance*	Strength and endurance depend on their aim	High tolerance for physical or repetitive work	Maintain the longest interest in what they do	Try to be hard-working
	Give up easily if they find the job meaningless	Cannot take changes easily	Seem impatient	Tend to be impatient
		Lose interest in a hobby easily	Dislike repetitious work
*How do they see their future and past?*	Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past	Try hard to forget the past	Hard to forget recent affairs, but able to forget past and memories	Sentimental about the past
*How do they see their future and past?*	Seek financial stability for the future	Pessimistic about the future		More concern about the immediate problems than anything else
*How do they express their emotions?*	Usually stable and calm	Able to display cool outlook even though angry	Expressive	Sentimental
	Sensitive towards sincerity	Short-tempered	Cool and objective	Usually cool and steady, but can get upset with an immediate, unsolved problem
	Give frank, direct opinions	Take longer to heal a broken heart	Although joke a lot, could actually be very shy	Can get moody easily
		Sensitive to others' opinions	Change moods like the weather
			Cannot stop complaining when they are upset
*How do they work?*	Ability to concentrate vary from time to time, depending on aim	Perfectionist	Creative and possess new ideas	Able to handle a wide scope of jobs
	Mostly prefer to lead	Handle one thing at a time	Cannot differentiate between work and hobby	Value hard work
	Can overlook details	Work a line between work and personal affairs	Cannot take orders	Quick in understanding
		Highly responsible	Do not hesitate to introduce innovative changes and are not worried about theirs criticisms	Not highly responsible and unable to follow-up on a project until its completion
		Tend to choose hobbies which help them release stress		Tend to be artistic in approach

So in a nutshell this life of mine effectively isn’t just coz of my parents. Its coz of the day i was born. My blood group, and what not!!! Apparently personality is even reflected in the way u undress as shown by the next forward I received :)

If you throw your clothes all over the place,you're a friendly,life-of-the-party type. You are free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about what others think of you.
Your parents might think your room looks like a cyclone's hit it? But it actually represents your happy, individualistic nature! Stay that way!
If you remove each piece of clothing and put itway carefully, you are a serious person who likes life to be very calm. You are comfortable with routine work. And you believe that the best way to deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place.
You are a perfectionist. By nature you are quite shy.You're dependable and sometimes intense. You think carefully before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration.
If you take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants, you are an extremely self-confident person. You are naturally bright and intellectual.
You are also a deep thinker who loves to ask questions and ponder over the meaning of things. You hate being rushed and you do not like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.
If you get out of your clothes as quickly as possible, you are concerned about others and what they expect from you, but you're worried about your own needs.
You are family-oriented, and stay extremely busy. You often feel stressed, but most of those heavy expectations come from your own head! Give yourself a break; you don't have to be perfect!
If you take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch, etc before anything else, you are a warm and sensitive person.You are considerate and thoughtful, and you give good
advice to your friends. You are a natural born romantic.
Helping friends or anybody for that matter is your second nature. You hate liars and you would love the world to become a better place.
If you don't have an undressing routine and you never do it the same way twice, you are a very curious and interesting person. You enjoy a broad range of
activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure.
The word monotony cannot dampen your spirits at anycost, as you live life king-size. Having fun is as much a part of your routine as slogging it out at office.

So u want to know what kind of a person I am? Come over. Watch me undress and judge for urself ;)

Murder!

2006-02-07T21:47:00.001+05:30

MTV isnt the channel u should flick on to hear good music.Vh1 its sister concern is always a safer bet...However there are times when u have 5 or 6 ppl crib about movies actors and actresses for hours on that channel...Then u gasp for music and switch on the desi cocktail channels.In one such attempt i chanced upon a catchy song..."ashiq banaya aapne" from a movie bearing the same name. The voice was unique,the video was interesting coz it had the desi cassanova Emraan render yet another dame topless .But all those steamy love scenes aside,the song was actually good..and i found myself humming the song to myself and even downloading it.In that song and through another video in the movie i saw for the first time..this capped person with an unusual grasp on the mike croon away.Himesh was then pleasant and quite bearable

Then came the Aksar movie.. with the jhalak song..havin the same nasal singer doing his own music.With that the onslaught began...two remix videos for the movie followed with Himesh getting jiggy with the cast .Not having enuff with his movie work..he goes on with an ALBUM for heavens sakes...releases two videos and then releases a remix of the first video he released.The way he recycles his music would make environmentalists proud but i really do recommend earplugs to all..

therez the "tera tera teraaaaaa surroooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrr" song..where he mixes his song with the take off sound of an aeroplane and croons.God!! The song drove me nuts from day one...Not only did the song suck, it was coupled with the amazing video of him being a part of a threesome triangle.Oh and the guitarist girl with all her gyrations would have made Kurien babykutty proud(Ex bassist of Rubbur band )

Having heard a gal sing it to me over the fone..heard my classmates sing it...The greatest shock to my senses came when i went..tera tera teraaaaa surrooor at the bus stop while waiting for the bus..I guess i really had enuff of hearing him..but looks like his music is all MTVz got..

Isnt too much of a good thing bad ? Shouldnt someone tell him to slow down and take a break.Why should he sing all the songs he makes ??.Shouldnt he wait for a few years to watch the DJ aqeels remix his music with the prerequiste bimbos ? Or is it just the beginning of the "formula movie music" revolution..

For now..My only hope rests on the fact that Himesh compares his Songs to Sex...
Better let someone do it for you..than do it all by yourself all the time ;)

THE EXERCIST

2006-02-03T18:39:00.000+05:30

At the moment the latest craze in my college is badminton..The portion of land located between the once empty taps and the parking lot,no longer looks like a pigsty .Thanks to a generous splash of tar from the gate all the way to the BT classes, this space now serves as a court for the enthusiastic players.Once upon a time the front of the canteen stood host to some of the violent party fights and agitations of fellow students...now the only groans and moans to be heard from there are from excited spectators and players.The other day i even spotted some of the lecturers take a swing with their rackets.What a welcome sight!!

So Finally SCTCE has its sport,one that we can play within the campus.Though i fear that in the weeks to come..the racket is gonna smash more heads than shuttlecocks ,at present its just the calm fun Badminton tournament.

Hence It was inevitable,i knew from DAY ONE that i was gonna end up at one side of the net, looking across at my formidable opponent as i swung the racket like a sword.What i didnt know was that i would SUCK at it.

My game progressed in the following way

1) i swung the racket and hit everything but the shuttle.
2)i hit the shuttle and hit it everywhere but in the court
3)i hit the shuttle into the court but the people i played against were just better.

while i was at stage 1 & 2 i had the misfortune to play against two girls in my class.Neetha and Jayasree beat me silly..though i manage to stall jayasree for a while by making her laugh.

Reached stage 3 yesterday by playing against Bachu , Ranjith and subash.It sure was fun as we smashed the shuttle (the girls bought it) all around college .We even played using the college gate as net (Nike ad inspiration).

However At the end of it all..

I dont feel the lower end of my back.
I found out that i have muscles in my butt..tha hard way.
Every time i bend down to pick things up...its an eternity before i stand up.
My left hand is doing most of the typing now.

In short i kno what i was supposed to feel 40 years from now and that too at the prime of my youth
So its more Badminton for me now...I really could use the exercise

By the way i keep using the word Shuttle...coz i think the other shortform is a tad embarassing thanks to the meaning its more famous for..Dont believe me ? read my post subsituting what i wrote with that and see for yourself or try the line below

"you can use my shuttle but please dont be hard on it..i have a big game tomm and i need to practice for it using my shuttle later "

My Bad Joke for Today

"If charles darwin decided to get commercial and tell his theory through bollywood movies..what would the movie title be ? "

HUM APE'KE HAIN KAUN ..hehehe

PS : abdul "bachu" shabeer was inspiration for this post on badminton..After beating the crap out of me(at the game of course)...he should be really pleased by this one ;)

DISS THE COOK

2006-01-29T23:34:00.000+05:30

Ok i must admit my culinary skills arent top notch.Testament to this statement is the fact that i have survived and endured my various experiments at the kitchen.However today's experiment i must label as an abject failure.And in the event of food poisoning or anything hazardous to my health, an online documentation of my recipe will help the coroner and perhaps any guy looking for a healthy way to get rid of his mother-in-law.

Here Goes

Akshay's Spizee Noodles

Serves 1 -> if suicide / murder
4 -> mass murder
more than 4 -> Genocide

Required Ingredients

1 dumb ass cook (over 100 lbs)
2 carrots (peeled and cut into long strands of unequal dimensions)
a fistful of beans...(cut and sliced)
1 packet Maggi instant 2 min noodles
excess of salt to taste
excess of chilli powder
lots of water

Method

Forget to wash the vegetables and then cut them up as given above . Place them in a frying pan over the stove having poured a mugful of water into it. Go and watch TV..preferably watch THE O.C ..see how sandy cohen is managing his family. How marissa and ryan make out. and forget about the vegetables on the stove.During the commercials come back to the kitchen to find the vegetables on the verge of a roast..Panic..and tip in a liberal amount of water into the frying pan.
Add the maggi noodles masala into the frothing mixture and try to stir it around.Also add more than a tablespoon of chilli powder and salt.

Try breaking the noodle cake above the frying pan ( like in the 2 min noodle ad)..and observe how it falls everywhere but the pan.Salvage the remaining and put it into the frying pan...Give two deft stirs with the ladle.Return to the living room to watch OC.Comeback later when u hear a definitive hissing sound.Turn off the stove..scrape and dump the contents on a plate..curse yourself for tha lack of alternatives and eat your food hot.

Voila Akshayz spizee noodles will be burning its way down ur throat.Cry due to the excessive chilli powder and call them tears of delight at ur culinary masterpiece.

Bon Appetit!

If i fail to blog tomm or on the days that follow..inform my family ;)

if u feel inspired by my original recipes do come over to my house and cook me something good

Ciao

PS : on a side note..my idea of suprising my family after a week or two of blog activity..took a turn for the worse...when my brother(my biggest fan) found out about my blog without me telling him..(DAMN YOU ORKUT)..This is a public note of apology. So that my wonderful bro , my mom and dad end up readers on this blog...You guys havent missed anything at all ;)

RANG de BASANTI

2006-01-28T19:17:00.000+05:30

Just saw the movie today afternoon.And still the "lose control" reverbrates in my head..that and so many other scenes still stay etched in my head.Normally you see our hindi directors take "inspiration" from foreign movies and provide us half baked storylines filled with bikini clad babes and lousy music. End result -> we go to theatres to see the heroines assets on the large screen...Watch a porn movie instead i tell my friends..at least they dont have plots..but hey! no one seez them for the plots..

Rang de basanthi was a pleasant surprise..It starts like a slap on the face of indian directors by showing a foreigner coming here to take a film on Indians.Very well crafted characters that handle their transformations from past to present with such ease..Awesome bonds of friendship..and really classy representations of all socio-political issues...

If i go on like this i dont think any one of you reading my blog would reach this far..Thats the beauty of the movie..The sentiment of the patriotism was told in tha only language youth understand.I feel so sorry for aamir...he grew his moustache..and his hair ....took a healthy diet for 4 years to get buff for his role in MANGAL PANDEY...but that period film bombed..Rahman too was at prolly his worst coz he couldnt connect to his young fan base..And here..both weave magic in their own ways..

The british babe was hot.The guy from "style" was cool and the other two characters..were so fresh and unique.Rahmans music breathtaking ,merging seamlessly with the storyline..I guess i gushed enough about the movie..A quick round up of some of my fav things about the movie ;)

1)The SONGS...they rocked
2)The jump in front of the plane..(no i dont like the half naked guys..i just like the idea)..also the jumps into the water
3)Aamir kissing that british lady..That is surely the way a kiss can be shown..
4)The "blast from the past" scenes esp the scene where the ladies jump into the well at jallianwala bagh
5)THe jokes
6)howling at Aamir's tears in the apartment ;) (lesson learnt..Cry and u can end up in bed with a cute girl )
7)Seeing the gleaming eyes of the girls who came for the movie with me..(By the way..ANU DID NOT CRY..she just had a running nose at the end of the movie ;) )

Aah finally after watching fiasco movies like suresh gopi's TIGER a really good movie worth its salt..speaking of salt..that pop corn i had in the theatre had too much of it.

Guys if u havent seen it..you should...

I RECOMMEND IT

8/10

OH and INQUILAB ZINDABAD!!

THE SOUND MUSIC

2006-01-27T23:30:00.000+05:30

Who ? Rich hard clay da man ? Can u spell that for me ? R-i-c-h-a-r-d C-l-a-y-d-e-r-m-a-n ??
Oh k. You want his music ? Y ? OH all right ...with an air of indifference i proceeded to procure
the music mom had wanted.(RIAA..KI$$ MY A$$).A day later the "stork" dropped the music into my hard drive and it stayed there...all zipped up and untouched.The following night found me bored...driving cars around in NFS wasnt helping ...so i did something i hadnt done in months.Took up some book Vishnu had given me a week or two back to read.
A bag of chips in one hand and the book in the other, i was all set but wait something was missing...yeah good music.

Remembering the album i had "acquired"..i decided to give it a try..

And Oh wow..DID IT ROCK..i mean it didnt rock..it was cool and quaint..violins pianos cellos and so on..Music that i normally associated with rich cronies wearing monocles and stuffy looking jackets.But by then i was too addicted to it to afford any judgemental thoughts.Soothing and so clear...i let the music waft about the room...turned the lights off..and lay in bed..
A day later i gave mom the cds she wanted of Richard Clayderman a little sheepishly.She gave me a knowing smile having heard the songs resonate through the walls of our flat

Looks like my taste in music has just diversified a bit further and this time..amazingly i have to thank my mom for it..she was instrumental in the change ;)

And for those of u who want to know who this guy is...DO check... <oooh click me>

And if u want to contact..<my stork> ......go ahead.. and tell the "stork" u want to see Richard Clayderman's stuff ( I mean his Music..for heaven's sake).

PS from light hearted instrumentals..i play to move on to rigorous works of the likes of Mozart..any recommendations? By the way...Happy Bday Mozart ;)

Da Nightmare...Vinci

2006-01-25T21:07:00.000+05:30

The vitruvian man...into the 22nd century..ROFL

comenta el desconocido

2006-01-23T21:28:00.000+05:30

Yes YOU to leave ur comments to my blog..earlier today a bugged An o op and Vishnu claimed that my blog didnt permit their "anonymous" words of wisdom.That was solved with just two clicks,thanks to the easy to use blogger interface.Now you are all free to leave ur comments,anonymous or otherwise..on my blog as and when u wish.SO Just keep them coming.....

By the way..the post title is .."the stranger comments" in spanish..aint that language cool ?

Me...Myself and i Reign

2006-01-22T22:45:00.000+05:30

Well used photoshop on a pic of mine...and ended up with a cartoonish representation of what i look like..
here it is

Prob Verbs

2006-01-21T17:10:00.000+05:30

Yes having successfully mutilated the english language over the years, i decided to get specific in my attack..First target proverbs

A boring after-lunch class session found my un-inspired mind searching for fun.The teacher mentioned hard disks and roms...which lead to the first of the sequence that follows..

The very next day..i dragged myself into class after a free hour to see a teacher read them from my note..She didnt look that upset and had a nice little smile on her face..Proof that despite everything..teachers do have a sense of humour.

With no further ado..here are my literary mutilations..Enjoy

Computer Signs oriented :)

All codes lead to rom
An idle port is a hacker's workshop
An apple a day keeps IBM at Bay
Rom wasnt built in a day
Every Dock has its tray ( not quite sure what it means as of yet..but hey it rhymes)
To parse is human,to compile Divine
Code before you Compile (Courtesy ANAND)
All work and no pay makes jack a programmer
Beauty is cabinet-deep
Better compile with honour,than parse with shame
The early nerd gets the worm
Better strafe than sorry (for all u online gamers)
Good firewalls make good neighbours
Out of Site,out of Mind
Give him a nibble..he'll take a byte (hmm sounds erotic to anybody??)
Scratch my disk and i will scratch yours ( i lost so many of my disks..thanks to friends)

Unintentional creations that didnt make the above cut...

buoys will be buoys
one man's laws,another man's pain

By the way..during my proverb research i stumbled...an unusual one...

There's more than one way to skin a cat...

Oww now thatz disgusting...really..what extreme physical circumstance would have inspired the guy who came up with that...

i havent really come up with a usage that fits..

how about? she didnt want to have sex with me...never mind..all in due time...there is more than one way to skin a cat...

by the way...if u do have any such entertaining..proverbial creations..leave them as comments....i will append them to this post..with ur name :)

So for now Ciao !

FUNERAL ----> FUN REAL ?

2006-01-20T20:25:00.000+05:30

Hmm a rip-off from a joke i read on the internet. My photoshopping skills surely look poor in this..Anyways this image does look a lil frightening.My first Tombstone and i aint even christian nor did i wrestle The Undertaker(a wwf joke) .I prolly end up in a pot like all we hindus do...and prolly end up floating down a river...or scattered in the oceanor flushed down the toilet if my "wife"(when i get one) doesnt give a hoot for rituals .This sucks...i would have love a nice epitaph when i am dead.Plus to own ur own land even in death.Now thats what i call a Permanent allocation of memory space (memory and space)

My bad joke for the day...

The wife of a hindu drug dealer..was asked whether she thought death was a transition for him..
her reply was " no....he just went from pot to pot"..

Out in the open

2006-01-20T19:42:00.000+05:30

There is an exhibitionist in every one of us...one who would love to wait around the corner and flash to the next unsuspecting person...just to hear that gasp of suprise..I guess this blog will serve as the "exhibitionist" me .Not that i am promising any nudes..Just my "articles of interest" so as to speak..A daily dose of me for those who cant get enough (ha...if therez someone like that ).So READ on